Downward Comparison. The Stress of Maintaining Superiority

Defining Downward Judgment

The flip side of judging's destructive power is downward comparison, which occurs when we look down on people as less than us.

This habit involves mentally positioning ourselves in a place of superiority, believing that for some reason our worth as individuals is intrinsically greater than theirs.

Although this act may generate a false and temporary sense of power, it can actually generate a very particular and deeply exhausting type of stress.

This is an ego trap, in which our self-worth becomes dependent on keeping another person in a position we consider beneath our own.

This form of comparison, like upward comparison, is a guaranteed path to bringing more unnecessary tension and conflict into our lives.

The False Sense of Worth and the Need to Keep Your Distance

When we begin to see someone as beneath us, the belief is born that We have to keep that person in that position to retain our worth.

In order to achieve this, we are forced to constantly fight to prove that we are better than that person at all times.

We convince ourselves that we have always been better and that we always will be, turning the relationship into a constant competition instead of a genuine connection.

The need to maintain this hierarchical distance consumes us, since any sign of improvement in the other person is perceived as a direct threat to our status.

The Fear of the Evolution of the Other

Stress intensifies when we imagine that the person we see as inferior begins to evolve in their life, to improve and to level up.

We begin to worry that they may be achieving new things, that they are studying or that perhaps they are getting a job similar to the one we have.

This possibility that the other person will catch up with us or even surpass us becomes a a source of deep fear that fuels our need to keep fighting.

Other people's progress, instead of being a cause for joy, becomes a direct threat to our fragile and self-imposed sense of superiority over others.

The Unnecessary Stress of Constant Struggle

When faced with someone else's progress, our internal dialogue becomes filled with thoughts like "this person can't be better than me, I have to keep trying to keep them down."

This thinking locks us into a cycle of constant effort and struggle, not for our own growth, but to impede the other person's growth.

In the end, you generate internal stress that is completely unnecessary, because you are basing your peace of mind on the constant comparison with someone else's life.

Every time we judge another person and compare ourselves to them, whether up or down, we are actively choosing to bring more stress into our lives.