The Destructive Power of Judgment. The Double Standard

The Unconscious Habit of Judging Others

We all have a very particular way of judging people, as we often handle a curious and harmful double standard in our lives.

Judging others is something we do very frequently and, most of the time, in a completely unconscious way, almost as a reflex.

We have become accustomed to this way of thinking, in part, due to certain cultural mentalities that constantly drive us to look, compare, and make judgments.

Commonly, when we judge someone, we believe that we are looking down on them, as if they were inferior to us or someone who is not good enough.

This mental habit, although common, is a constant source of conflict and misunderstanding in our interactions, as it is based on a completely unfair measuring stick.

The First Pillar of the Standard: Judging Others by Their Actions

When it comes to other people, we have a strong tendency to judge them strictly and solely by their actions, both for what they have done and for what they have not done.

If someone makes a mistake, insults us, or speaks badly of us, we immediately label them as a bad person, without giving them the benefit of the doubt.

We don't stop to think about their possible intentions; We simply observe the negative action and use it to completely define that person's identity.

If we see that someone is unable to do things for themselves and is dependent on others, we judge them as weak, without considering the circumstances they face.

This side of the double standard makes us unforgiving judges, where a single negative act is enough to cast condemnation on an individual's entire character.

The Second Pillar of the Standard: Judging Ourselves by Our Intentions

However, when it comes to judging ourselves, we apply a completely different rule, as we primarily evaluate ourselves by the quality of our intentions.

If we are the ones making a mistake or doing something wrong, our first reaction is to say that was not our true intention when acting.

We use the purity of our intentions as an excuse to absolve ourselves of responsibility for our actions, concluding that deep down we are not bad people.

We tell ourselves that, since we didn't intend to harm, we actually did nothing wrong, a privilege we never grant to others.

This self-protective mechanism prevents us from seeing our own failings objectively, maintaining an idealized image of ourselves that doesn't correspond to reality.

The Consequences of an Unbalanced Judgment

This double standard is deeply destructive because it prevents us from developing true empathy towards others, since we always judge them as harshly as possible.

At the same time, it holds us back in our own personal growth, because we never take full responsibility for our actions, always hiding behind our supposedly good intentions.

Living with this unbalanced judgment condemns us to have superficial relationships, since it is impossible to genuinely connect with someone we are judging so harshly.