The Value of Significance and the Risk of Searching for Validation

The Human Need to Feel Worthy

Another core value that we often find ourselves constantly searching for is significance, the deep desire to feel valuable.

However, this particular value can cause a lot of problems in our lives, as the pursuit of it often leads us down completely the wrong paths.

The main risk is that, in our eagerness to be seen as valuable, we behave in inauthentic ways in order to please other people.

We believe that we need someone specific to see us as valuable, and in order to achieve this, we act in ways that are not in line with who we are.

This impulse leads us to operate in an incorrect way, as we indulge our core values in ways that are detrimental to ourselves.

The High Cost of Validation: Sacrificing Health

The pursuit of significance can create a immense stress, especially when, in order to feel valuable in the eyes of a boss, we decide to literally work ourselves to death.

In this process, we can even risk our own health, staying until four in the morning and then getting up at five to continue working.

We tell our superior that everything is fine and continue working all day on a project, regardless of the physical cost it has on us.

If we are asked to do something else, we also accept it without question, continuing in a seemingly endless cycle of overload that exhausts us.

This sacrifice of our physical well-being is one of the highest prices we pay just so our boss will value and love us.

The Sacrifice of Relationships and Inner Peace

In order to feel valuable, we not only risk our health, but also the time we should be spending with our family and our partner, neglecting our relationships.

We come home without time or energy, which inevitably leads to arguments and conflicts with our loved ones, damaging our most important bonds.

We continue this destructive process, putting our most intimate connections at risk so we can feel like we're moving forward and secure in our jobs.

We make all these sacrifices so our boss sees us as valuable, without realizing that we're destroying the foundations of our own happiness.

The Final Destination: A State of Chronic Stress and Anxiety

This misguided search for external validation simply leads us to feeling stressed all the time, living in a state of constant tension and alert.

Eventually, we reach a point where we feel anxious, neurotic, and even hysterical because we feel like no one understands us or values our enormous sacrifices.

We complain that no one is paying attention to us, without recognizing that we ourselves are sacrificing many important things for something that It's worth it.

When we recognize that meaning is what drives us, we can begin to manage our stress, finding healthier ways to feel valuable without destroying ourselves.