Upward Comparison. Feeling Inferior

Defining Upward Judgment

The act of judging others works in two directions, and the first one we need to analyze is that of upward judging, a very destructive habit.

This happens when we see other people as being above us, whether in their accomplishments, status, or abilities.

The very moment we do this, we are immediately putting ourselves below them, seeing ourselves as lesser in comparison.

This perception puts us in a position of self-imposed disadvantage, where our own worth is diminished in comparison to the idealized image we have of the other person.

Although everyone lives their lives in a completely different way, we often fall into this comparison trap, generating a deep unease within ourselves.

The Instructor's Experience: Comparing Himself to a Mentor

The instructor himself experienced this early in his career, when Watching his mentor perform, he thought he could never be like that.

He told himself he wasn't as smart, didn't have that charisma, and couldn't speak as eloquently as he did.

This comparison led him to feel like he wasn't good enough and to question why he was spending his life doing something he could never master.

As he saw his mentor on a higher and higher pedestal, it wasn't because his mentor was growing bigger, but because he himself was getting smaller.

The Making Ourselves Small Mechanism

We also apply this making ourselves small when we compare ourselves to people our own age who seem to have reached societal milestones.

We see that our old friends already have a house, a car, and a family, and we instantly tell ourselves that we are not like them.

Immediately, the belief sets in that we do not have what they have and that, therefore Therefore, we cannot achieve those kinds of things in our own lives.

We look at ourselves and, even though we are the same age, we feel that they are much higher up, which generates a painful feeling of failure.

The Antidote: Reflection and Acceptance of One's Own Path

The only way to break this pattern is to start reflecting and make the conscious decision to stop putting people above us.

We must recognize that each person has a different life and has gone through different experiences, so direct comparison is completely illogical and also unfair.

We cannot expect to be in the same situation as someone who is ten years more experienced, especially when we are just starting out on our own path.

The situation of each person's past is already set and cannot be changed, so the only thing that truly matters is how we handle our own present.

By accepting our unique journey and focusing on our now, we free ourselves from the burden of comparison and the stress that this inevitably generates for us every day.