Useless Pattern 2. Reading Minds and Assuming the Worst in Others

The False Ability of Mind Reading

Another of the thinking patterns that causes us the most problems is believing that we have the ability to read other people's minds.

This habit leads us to assume with total certainty what others think, such as when we claim that our boss hates us or that our partner is upset.

We also do this when we assume that our parents have always believed that we are a complete failure, without having any real evidence to prove it.

This false ability is a constant source of internal conflict, since we base our emotional reality on assumptions that we have not verified in any way.

We convince ourselves that these interpretations are the absolute truth, acting and feeling as if we have direct access to the most intimate thoughts of others.

The Illusion of Certainty without Evidence

The fundamental question we must ask ourselves when we fall into this pattern is very simple: what is it like that you know with such certainty and without any doubt?

The reality is that we have no certainty about other people's thoughts, as we cannot see inside their minds nor have we spoken directly to them.

Often, we avoid asking questions directly for fear of the answer, preferring to live with the anguish of a negative assumption instead of seeking the truth.

Unless you are a professional magician or fortune teller, it is impossible for you to know exactly what another person is really thinking inside.

Acting as if we have this power is an act of self-centeredness, as we believe we know everything without having taken the time to talk and understand.

The Consequences of Assuming the Worst

All we achieve when we pretend to read minds is to fill our own heads with a large number of ideas that are completely useless and unnecessary.

We spend an enormous amount of time and energy believing that we know what people People around us are thinking negatively about us at all times.

Constantly living with the idea that someone doesn't love us, detests us, or hates us is a way of self-inflicting suffering that has no basis.

This pattern of thinking wears us down emotionally, as it keeps us in a state of alert and defense against threats that, for the most part, just exist.

The Impact on Performance and the Real Solution

This habit has a very negative impact on our professional lives, as it prevents us from working with the peace of mind and confidence we need to be efficient.

If you are convinced that your boss is thinking of firing you from the company, it will be impossible for you to give your best in each of your tasks.

The real and effective solution to break this pattern is to stop assuming and start communicating directly with people to understand them in a genuine way.

You must take the time to talk to them so you can understand the way they see you you, instead of making up a negative version.