The 3 Steps of Radical Acceptance

The Three Steps to Stabilizing Yourself

There's a simple, three-step process you can use every day to help you stabilize yourself when you feel out of control.

This method will allow you to stop fighting your anxiety uselessly and start finding a new way of relating to it.

It's a practical way out of the emotional "quicksand" we sometimes feel stuck in.

Step 1. Actively Accept Feelings and Memories

The first step is to accept where you are right now by actively responding to your feelings and memories.

Accepting your feelings means feeling them in your body, rather than trying to get rid of them or ignore them altogether.

In the same way, you should accept your memories by simply remembering them, without fighting them or trying to erase them from your mind.

It's important to understand that we can't suppress negative emotions without also repressing them our capacity to feel joy.

The goal of this step is not to feel better, but to open yourself to the aliveness of the moment in order to live more fully.

If thoughts appear that tell you this is stupid, simply acknowledge them, remembering that they are not the absolute truth.

Step 2. Anchoring Yourself in the Present with Breathing

The second step, once you have accepted the situation, is to use a gentle breathing technique to calm yourself.

You can use an exercise like the "Cup of Cocoa" to consciously bring your attention to the present moment.

This mindfulness practice helps you anchor yourself in the now, which is the only place you can find calm.

Recovery from anxiety happens faster when you bring your attention to many moments in your life without judgment.

Step 3. Radical Acceptance of Reality

The third step is radical acceptance, which means accept the truth of reality as it is.

Radically accepting something doesn't mean that you like it or agree with it, but rather that you simply recognize that it is the truth.

Fighting reality is an exhausting battle and does not work; it only adds more suffering to your pain.

For example, refusing to accept that anxiety has affected you only intensifies the discomfort you are already feeling.

You must stop fighting the truth, let go of control, and allow reality to simply be what it is.

The Calm After Acceptance

Initially, this process of accepta