The Origin of Our Inner Voices

Introduction. The Internal Architecture of the Mind

Within our mind, there are different parts that constantly dialogue, and one of the most influential is the "parental voice."

This internal voice acts as a kind of governor or programmer that directs much of our daily behavior.

Understanding the origin and nature of this voice is essential to freeing ourselves from anxiety and self-criticism.

The Parental Voice. Our Inner Ruler

The parental voice is the part of us that has absorbed and internalized all the rules and values from our childhood.

It functions like an operating system that applies these rules, often unconsciously, to our inner child.

The messages this voice emits can be loving and gentle or, conversely, very harsh, critical, and judgmental.

The Formation of the Voice Through Childhood

The nature of our inner parental voice is a direct reflection of the way we were raised by our parents.

The habits of our parents and the way they dealt with their emotions were passed down directly to us.

The phrases and judgments we heard repeatedly from our caregivers became imprinted in our minds and became our own voice.

As a result, as adults, we continue to carry these behaviors and habits without examining or questioning them never.

Identifying the "Negative Parent" in Action

If you want to identify your "Negative Parent," simply express a desire for pleasure, such as, "I want to drop everything and go outside and play."

Then, listen carefully to the responding voice in your head, which will likely put up a critical and judgmental barrier.

This voice may sound like, "You don't have time to play," or "You have no right to demand pleasure right now."

Often, you'll find that this critical tone is strikingly similar to the one your parents used with you.

The Impact of Growing Up Criticized

If you grew up surrounded by constant criticism throughout your childhood and teen years, it's very likely you have a strong "Negative Parent."

The external voices that told you you were ugly, clumsy, or insufficient became internalized to become your own belief.

This critical, demanding inte