Perception and Emotions

The way we perceive reality is the starting point for our emotions and, therefore, our actions.

Each person has a unique filter of perception, shaped by his or her experiences, education and social conditioning.

This personal filter determines how we interpret what happens to us, and often leads us to react differently to the same situation.

A clear example of this is how people reacted to the pandemic confinements: while some felt frustrated and only complained, others saw it as an opportunity to plan for the future and start new projects.

Externalizing our emotions

In our daily interactions, we often use our perception as an excuse to feel offended.

We fall into the trap of externalizing the causes of our discomfort, attributing our frustration or anger to the supposed mistakes of others.

A supervisor micromanaging you is a fact, but the frustration you feel about it is an internal emotion, and confusing the two is a mistake that punishes ourselves for the supposed mistakes of others.

The key question to manage this is: if someone says something to you that makes you feel angry, stressed or sad, who is really in control of what is going on inside you.

Reactions and objectivity

Understanding that the discomfort we feel is a personal choice and not an inevitable consequence of the situation allows us to regain objectivity.

By realizing that we have surrendered control of our emotions to external factors, we can begin to make more conscious decisions instead of falling into impulsive reactions.

This is especially relevant in the context of relationships, where emotional reactions can lead to ineffective communication and detrimental patterns of behavior.

Distinguishing between a fact (what happens) and an emotion (how I feel about it) is the first step to stop being a victim of our circumstances and start being the architect of our responses.

Summary

How we perceive reality is the basis for our emotions and actions. Each person has a unique perceptual filter, shaped by experience and environment. This determines how we interpret situations and how we react.

We often use our perception to justify our anger, blaming others. Mistaking a fact for an emotion punishes us for the supposed mistakes of others. The discomfort we feel is a personal choice, not an inevitable consequence.

Regaining objectivity allows us to make conscious decisions instead of impulsive reactions. Distinguishing between a fact and an emotion is the first step to stop being a victim of our circumstances and take control of our responses.