Personality and the Origin of Our Beliefs

Our personality is built on a system of beliefs and values that dictate how we perceive reality and react to it.

These beliefs, the product of experience, lead us to judge others and polarize the world into those who think like us and those who do not.

The key to building healthy relationships is not to judge others by their opinions, but by their behaviors, such as empathy and openness to dialogue.

Beliefs and value systems

Our personality is a construct of internal beliefs and value systems.

Our beliefs shape our perception, and our values translate into how we behave and treat others or ourselves in our personal and professional lives.

Our beliefs, values and personality are constantly interacting with those of others.

Those are basically the generic explanations you will hear or read as you go deeper into self-knowledge.

But those principles are pretty abstract. Beliefs are the truth upon which you build your sense of identity.

They are the drivers that will dictate how you perceive and react to your circumstances. They are the result of what you have integrated through your upbringing and your social conditioning.

Basically your experience as a whole. And they are the best conclusions you have gleaned in light of what you went through.

Judgment and polarization

People cling to a belief system that makes them feel they are right.

They then seek out others who share the same belief systems to feed a sense of belonging, and reduce some of their feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness by being externally validated.

But to maintain those beliefs, they usually convince themselves that other people are not right.

So they tend to polarize the world and create a sense of 'our way is the only way'.

And if you don't do that, if you don't share the way I think, then you are wrong. But that doesn't make others worse or better than they are.

It just makes them intolerant because we have learned to rank people based on what they think, what they believe, rather than simply ranking ideas and being able to discuss constructively and be open to new perspectives.

Empathy and dialogue

But instead, the way we feel about those who think or act differently from us can lead to a course of action that may seem justified in the scope of our understanding, but unfortunately, can lead to unfortunate circumstances.

People often define themselves and their sense of identity through their opinions and belief systems, and in doing so, they attach their own intrinsic value to the way they think.

So many of us confuse statements of fact with statements of opinion that are mistaken for truth.

So every time someone challenges those opinions, thoughts or beliefs, they take it personally and get offended because they shut down the possibility of a different perspective in the first place.

The main idea I want to convey here is that we should not judge others based on what they believe, but ask ourselves if the way they think translates into positive or negative personality traits.

If someone does not share the same interests, the same worldview, the same religious or political beliefs, that may not be a good enough reason for you to dismiss the person as a whole.

You actually define yourself as judgmental. Instead, you should ask if the other person is open to a dialogue, if they are empathetic.

Summary

Our personality is a set of beliefs and values that shape our perception. These beliefs, shaped by experience, lead us to judge others. We often cling to belief systems that make us feel we are right.

To validate our identity, we seek out people who share our beliefs, which can lead us to polarize the world. This mentality makes us intolerant and prevents us from having constructive discussions. We judge people by their beliefs rather than their ideas.

The key to healthy relationships is not to judge others for what they believe. Instead, we should focus on whether they are empathetic and open to dialogue. A relationship where you can disagree without being disagreeable is ideal for learning and growing.