The [I'm Fine, You're Not Fine] Position (Persecutor)

The "I'm okay, you're not okay" position is characteristic of the persecutor, a profile that seeks control and domination over others.

This type of person has an egocentric mindset and is only concerned with what can benefit themselves, without considering how their actions affect others.

Their approach is based on distrust, disinterest in cooperation and a clear intention to win at the expense of the other.

The pursuit of control through criticism

The persecutor often manifests their need for control through criticism, belittling and constant dissatisfaction.

In professional settings, they may be tyrannical managers who delegate impossible workloads and refuse to give credit to subordinates.

In personal relationships, they may be partners who constantly make the other person feel that they are never good enough.

This behavior is because their emotional well-being is externalized, i.e., their satisfaction depends on reality matching their expectations.

When this is not the case, they feel frustrated and angry.

The use of manipulation and guilt

To get what they want, persecutors use a number of manipulative tactics.

They resort to emotional blackmail, guilt, threats, and the "silent treatment" to force others to comply with their needs.

Their core belief is: "If you love me or care about me, you must do everything I ask to make me happy."

This "I'm okay, you're not okay" mentality gives them the right to reject, blame and punish the other person when he or she does not meet their expectations.

The origin of the persecutor profile

The persecutor personality often originates from an upbringing where healthy boundaries were not established.

If the person was punished for not meeting parental expectations or was denied affection when they tried to express their anger, they may have internalized the idea that they must control others to get what they need.

Thus, in their adult relationships, they seek out partners or friends who fit the profile of the indulger or rescuer, perpetuating a cycle of abuse and control.

Summary

The position of the persecutor is based on the need for control and domination. This self-centered profile is only concerned with what benefits them, without considering how their actions affect others. Their approach is based on distrust and lack of empathy.

The persecutor manifests his control through criticism, belittling and constant dissatisfaction. To get what he wants, he resorts to manipulation, blackmail and blame. His belief is that if they love him, they must do what he asks.

The persecutor's personality often stems from an upbringing without boundaries. They seek out partners or friends who fit the profile of the pleaser, which perpetuates a cycle of abuse and control in their adult relationships.