Fallacies of Control and Justice

The Fallacy of Control (Omnipotence vs. Impotence)

This distortion presents itself in two opposite poles. On the one hand, there is the external control fallacy, where the person sees him or herself as a passive victim of fate, believing that he or she has no agency over his or her life.

"I can't do anything to improve my marriage, I'm just unlucky." This breeds hopelessness.

At the other extreme is the internal control or omnipotence fallacy, where the individual assumes responsibility for the well-being and emotions of everyone around him or her. "If my wife is sad, it's because I haven't done enough to cheer her up."

They mistakenly believe they are responsible for controlling uncontrollable events, leading to chronic exhaustion and constant guilt.

The Justice Fallacy

This cognition is based on the application of legal or contractual rules to personal relationships and life in general.

The person has a rigid rule book about what is "fair" and feels resentful, indignant, and angry when others or life do not follow those rules.

For example, an employee who thinks, "It's not fair that I work overtime and my co-worker gets promoted sooner because he has more charisma."

Although the situation may be objectively unequal, the distortion lies in the expectation that the world must operate under a system of automatic retributive justice.

The mental block on "it's not fair" prevents one from seeking adaptive solutions or accepting reality as it is.

The Fallacy of Change and the Fallacy of Guilt

The fallacy of change assumes that one's own well-being depends on others changing their behavior, and that such change is possible if sufficiently pressured or manipulated. "My marriage would be perfect if my husband were less introverted."

The person places his or her happiness in the hands of another's transformation, rather than in his or her own actions.

Finally, the guilt fallacy involves believing that others are responsible for one's own emotional suffering or, conversely, that one is solely responsible for the pain of others.

It ignores that each adult is responsible for his or her own emotional reactions and decisions.

Summary

The fallacy of control manifests itself in two poles: believing oneself to be an impotent victim of fate (external control) or feeling omnipotently responsible for everyone's well-being and emotions (internal control).

The fallacy of justice imposes rigid personal rules about how the world should act. It generates resentment and anger when life or others do not meet these arbitrary expectations.

The fallacy of change conditions one's own well-being on others changing. On the other hand, the blame fallacy denies responsibility for one's own emotions, projecting it onto others.