Nonverbal Incongruence and the [Mixed Message].

Cognitive dissonance: When words and body do not match.

Nonverbal incongruence occurs when there is a mismatch between the message we convey with our words and the signals we send through our body language, facial expressions or tone of voice.

For example, saying "I agree" while crossing your arms and avoiding eye contact, or stating "I'm excited" with a monotone voice and flat facial expression.

This contradiction creates what is known as cognitive dissonance in the receiver. The human brain seeks consistency and, upon detecting this misalignment, experiences a sense of confusion, discomfort or distrust.

It does not know which part of the message to believe: the carefully chosen words or the often involuntary body signals.

This cognitive tension makes it difficult to clearly understand the message and casts doubt on the authenticity of the sender.

The body: the most credible source of sincerity

When confronted with mixed messages, we instinctively tend to give greater credibility to nonverbal signals than to words.

This is because much of our body language and tone of voice operates at a subconscious level and is more difficult to intentionally manipulate, especially under pressure or when experiencing strong emotions.

Words can be chosen and rehearsed, but the body often "filters" or reveals genuine feelings and intentions more honestly.

For this reason, the body is perceived as a more reliable source for judging a person's sincerity and true emotional state.

If your body language contradicts your words, the audience will believe what they see and feel through your body, not necessarily what they hear.

Mismatch: Implications for confidence and message

The mismatch between verbal and nonverbal communication has significant negative consequences, especially in leadership. The main victim is trust.

When nonverbal signals contradict words, the receiver perceives a lack of authenticity or sincerity, which leads to doubts about the sender's intentions and erodes trust in the short and long term. In addition, inconsistency weakens the impact of the message.

The confusion generated by contradictory signals makes the message less clear, more difficult to process and less persuasive.

Instead of focusing on the content, the audience may be distracted by trying to decipher the "true" meaning, which reduces the clarity and overall effectiveness of the communication.

Summary

Incongruence occurs when there is a mismatch between words and body language. Saying "I agree" with arms crossed creates cognitive dissonance in the receiver.

Instinctively, we tend to give greater credence to nonverbal signals than to words. The body is more difficult to manipulate and "filters out" genuine feelings.

This mismatch has serious consequences, the main one being the erosion of trust. The message is also weakened, becoming confusing and less persuasive.