The three styles of communication: Passive, Aggressive and Assertive.

Identifying Our Role in the "Scenario" of Communication

To improve the way we interact, the first step is to become aware of our predominant communication style.

There are three fundamental ways of communicating: passive (or inhibited), aggressive and assertive.

A very visual way to understand them is to imagine the world around us as a big stage.

The way we position ourselves on this stage - whether we stand on the sidelines, occupy it alone or share it - defines our communicative style.

Although we may alternate between styles depending on the situation, we generally tend toward one of them.

Recognizing our habitual pattern is crucial, as it gives us the clues we need to identify our difficulties and start working on more balanced and effective communication.

The Passive Style and the Aggressive Style: The Extremes of the Scenario

The passive communication style is characterized by submission and avoidance. The person with this style does not express his true feelings, thoughts or opinions.

He acts as if he is inferior to others and only takes into account the rights of others, ignoring his own.

In the analogy of the stage, these people remain in the audience, as mere observers of life, ceding all the limelight to others without daring to go up. They "swallow" what they feel and withdraw, which often generates internal frustration.

At the opposite extreme is the aggressive communication style. Those who use it do express their feelings and thoughts, but they do so in a way that does not respect others, going so far as to hurt or humiliate.

They confuse being assertive with being aggressive and consider only their own rights, ignoring those of their interlocutor.

On the stage of life, they are those who go up and do not let anyone else do it. They devote their energy to fighting and staying on the defensive to keep the stage exclusively for themselves.

The Assertive Style: The Balance in Interaction

The assertive communication style represents the ideal balance. An assertive person is able to directly express feelings, thoughts and ideas, but does so without threatening, manipulating or disrespecting others.

This style is based on the belief that everyone has a right to be on the "stage" of life; the assertive person steps up, but also invites and welcomes others to do so.

Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for ourselves in a positive way, expressing our ideas and needs while taking into account both our feelings and those of the other person.

It involves respecting our own rights and, at the same time, the rights of others, whether or not we share their views.

In short, it is the way to communicate honestly and respectfully, without falling into the submissiveness of the passive style or the hostility of the aggressive style.

Summary

To improve the way we interact, the first step is to become aware of our predominant communication style. There are three fundamental modes: passive (or inhibited), aggressive and assertive.

The passive style is characterized by submission and avoidance, ignoring one's rights. At the opposite extreme is the aggressive style, which does express feelings but does not respect others.

The assertive style represents the ideal balance, allowing direct expression of feelings, thoughts and ideas without threat or disrespect. It is based on respect for one's own rights as well as those of others.