Verbal and nonverbal cues for demonstrating active listening

The Silent Language of the Body: The Nonverbal Signals

To put active listening into practice, it is critical to be aware of the signals we send with our bodies, as these communicate our level of interest and receptivity immediately. There are three key nonverbal components to master.

The first is eye contact, which involves looking the other person in the eye to show them that we have a genuine interest in what they are saying and that they feel cared for.

The second is a light, natural smile, which conveys openness and indicates to our interlocutor that the information he or she is sharing is welcome.

Finally, receptive body posture is crucial. We should adopt an open posture, avoiding crossing our arms, and lean slightly toward the other person to show that we are truly engaged in the conversation, just as we naturally do when we are deeply interested in something.

Validating the Interlocutor: The Use of Reinforcing Words

In addition to nonverbal cues, there are verbal techniques that reinforce the feeling of being heard.

One of these is the use of reinforcing words or compliments to validate the other person's speech and show that what he or she is telling us is important.

These brief interventions help to create an atmosphere of trust and encourage the interlocutor to continue communicating.

For example, phrases such as "You did very well," "You must be very good at that," or "I like that you are sincere" positively reinforce what they are telling us.

It is important to use these reinforcers in a focused and sporadic manner so that they do not become a distraction and maintain their genuine validation effect.

Message Verification: Paraphrasing and Summarizing

A common mistake is to rush to give our opinion without being sure we have fully understood the other person. To avoid this, two verbal techniques are essential: paraphrasing and summarizing.

Paraphrasing consists of expressing in our own words what we believe the other person has told us, in order to verify our understanding.

We can use expressions such as: "You mean you feel this way..." or "If I understand what you are telling me...".

Similarly, summarizing helps us to make sure that we have grasped the other person's point of view in its entirety before expressing our own.

These techniques are crucial because they can reveal nuances we had not understood, allowing the person to give us more information and ensuring that our future response is based on a complete and accurate understanding.

Deepening the Conversation: The Power of Relevant Questions

Finally, a sure sign that we are actively listening is the ability to ask relevant and intelligent questions.

This is not about interrogating the person, but using key questions to clarify information and demonstrate a real interest in what you are trying to communicate.

By being present with our five senses, we will naturally identify the points that need further elaboration or clarification.

Asking these questions not only provides us with the information we need, but also encourages our interlocutor to continue to share his or her perspective, enriching the conversation and strengthening the connection between the two of us.

Gradually integrating these elements, both verbal and nonverbal, will allow us to improve our listening until it becomes a natural and spontaneous skill.

Summary

To practice active listening, it is essential to be aware of the signals we send with our bodies. Three key nonverbal components are eye contact, a light smile, and an open and receptive body posture.

In addition to nonverbal signals, there are verbal techniques that reinforce the feeling of being heard. One of these is the utterance of reinforcing words or compliments to validate the other person's speech.

To avoid misunderstandings, two verbal techniques are fundamental: paraphrasing and summarizing. Paraphrasing consists of expressing in our own words what we believe the other person has said to verify our understanding of the message.