A New Perspective on the Conflict

Conflict is a natural and expected part of human interaction. Although our culture often associates it with hostility, disputes, and unrest, in its most basic form, conflict is nothing more than a divergence of interests or points of view.

It occurs when what one person wants, values, or needs collides with what another person wants, values, or needs.

This difference doesn't have to be aggressive; It can be as simple as two people with different ideas about how to spend the weekend.

The real challenge is not avoiding these disagreements, but learning how to manage them.

Adopting a neutral view of conflict, seeing it as a situation to be resolved rather than a battle to be won, is the first step in turning it into a tool for improvement and mutual understanding.

Where Do Conflicts Arisen?

The causes that give rise to disagreements are diverse and are generally rooted in the human condition.

Frequently, the trigger is poor communication, where messages are misinterpreted and intentions are misunderstood.

Other times, the clash stems from differences in personalities or core values.

They can also arise from competition for limited resources, such as a leader's time or a project budget, or from expectations that are not met.

However, these are only the visible catalysts. What truly fuels and sustains conflict are deeper, unmet emotional needs, such as the longing to be respected, the need to feel treated fairly, or the desire to be acknowledged.

Addressing only the surface causes without addressing these emotional roots is like pruning weeds without pulling them out: the problem will grow back.

The Key Difference: Solving the Problem vs. Falling into Aggression

To manage a conflict effectively, it is vital to distinguish between two opposing approaches: problem-solving and aggression.

The former is a constructive path that focuses on dialogue and cooperation.

Its objective is to find a solution that benefits both parties, where ideas are criticized for improvements, but individuals are never attacked.

In contrast, aggression transforms disagreement into a personal dispute.

The objective ceases to be the solution and becomes victory at any cost, which inevitably damages the relationship and generates distrust.

It is crucial to remember that aggression is not always explicit; It can manifest itself subtly through a sarcastic tone of voice, dismissive gestures, or hostile body language.

Mastering conscious communication, both in what we say and how we express it, is essential to keeping disagreements on a productive and respectful footing.

Summary

Conflict is, in essence, a disagreement between the needs or perspectives of two or more people, and it does not necessarily imply hostility. The key to managing it is to see it as an opportunity.

Its causes are often superficial, such as poor communication, but they feed into deeper human needs, such as the desire for respect or fairness.

Therefore, it is essential to differentiate between a constructive approach, focused on solving the problem collaboratively, and a destructive one based on aggression, which seeks to win the personal battle and can manifest itself in very subtle ways.