Cognitive Dissonance and Conflict

Cognitive dissonance is a state of mental discomfort that arises from an inconsistency between what a person says and what they do.

This discrepancy erodes trust, which is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and becomes a source of conflict.

Trust is built when a person's actions align with their words consistently over time.

Consistency as the Basis of Trust

Conflict is not limited to just a lack of honesty; It is often the result of an attempt to manage others' image of us.

People may make empty promises or act inauthentic in order to be liked or to avoid an awkward situation.

For example, a manager may promise a raise for an employee's efforts but never give it, creating deep disappointment.

In these cases, the curtain of the "false promise" eventually falls, and that's where the problems begin.

The lesson here is that honesty and consistency in words and actions are essential to nurturing relationships based on truth.

Language as a Catalyst for Conflict

In conflict, the word "but" has the power to override the first part of a sentence, as in the example "I agree with you, but...".

In a conflict, this word can have the potential impact of negating the other person's contribution, positioning one's own idea as the correct one and fueling defensiveness.

Replacing "but" with "and" changes the dynamic by affirming the other person's ideas and building on them, encouraging collaboration rather than confrontation.

It's a subtle shift in language that can have a significant impact on the development of a relationship and conflict resolution.

Summary

Cognitive dissonance is a state of mental discomfort that arises from an inconsistency between what a person says and what they do. This discrepancy erodes trust, which is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

Conflict is not only a lack of honesty but an attempt at image management. Empty promises, for example, lead to disappointment and long-term problems.

Language also influences dissonance. The word "but" cancels out the first part of a sentence, while "and" encourages collaboration by building on the other person's ideas.