The 5 Levels of Conversation

The depth of a conversation is a reflection of the trust and vulnerability that exists in a relationship.

Psychotherapist John Joseph Powell, in his book "Why I'm Afraid to Say Who I Am," describes five levels of conversation that range from the most superficial to the most intimate.

These levels demonstrate how true connection is built as people dare to show more of themselves.

Shallow Levels: Lack of Vulnerability

Cliché Conversation (Level 5): This is the most superficial level, "small talk."

Nothing personal is shared, and the conversation is impersonal.

Phrases like "How are you?" or "The weather has been terrible" are common.

This level avoids conflict and risk, but can lead to people feeling lonely and disconnected.

Communicating data and facts (Level 4): At this level, facts and information are shared, but personal thoughts or opinions are not revealed.

In a work environment, this would be a report of figures or a description of a task.

Although there seems to be a connection, the communication is impersonal and reveals nothing about the person themselves.

Sharing opinions and ideas (Level 3): This is the first level of "self-discovery" in a conversation, where a person dares to share what they think and believe.

In doing so, they risk being judged or disapproved, which is why many people avoid this level out of fear.

However, this is the first step towards a conversation real.

Deep Levels: Trust and Authenticity

Sharing Feelings and Emotions (Level 2): This level involves greater vulnerability, as feelings and emotions are shared.

This requires a high level of trust and a safe space to talk.

A person who can admit that they feel jealous, rather than blaming their partner, is demonstrating a high degree of self-awareness and trust.

Open and Complete Communication (Level 1): This is the deepest level of conversation, where there is complete openness and honesty.

At this level, people feel safe to share their most intimate vulnerabilities, thoughts, and emotions without fear of judgment or rejection.

This is the foundation of the healthiest and most meaningful relati