The Position of Persecutor and Victim

Within toxic relationship dynamics, the "persecutor" and "victim" positions are two of the most common and destructive archetypes.

These roles, identified by psychologist Stephen Karpman, not only define a person's behavior but also tap into the underlying insecurities of both partners.

Understanding these positions is crucial to breaking the cycle of abuse and manipulation they often perpetuate.

The Persecutor: Blame, Criticism, and Control

The persecutor operates from a position of "I win, you lose."

They blame, criticize, and control others, aiming to get them to conform to their own expectations.

The persecutor feels superior to others and, often unconsciously, uses verbal aggression to maintain control.

Phrases like "it's your fault I got hurt" angry" are common, as the persecutor shifts responsibility for their own emotions onto others.

For these people, control is the only way they can feel secure, and any challenge to their authority is seen as a threat.

In a conflict, the persecutor will focus on the other person's flaw, using criticism and blame as weapons to divert attention from their own insecurities.

The Victim: Powerlessness and Sympathy Seeking

The victim operates from a position of "I lose, you win" or "I'm not okay."

They feel powerless, believe life is "happening to them," and refuse to take responsibility for their problems.

In a conflict, their goal is not to find a solution, but to enlist sympathy from others and for someone to "save" them from their situation.

The victim refuses to acknowledge their own power and ability to change things and often blames others for their problems.

This role may seem harmless, but it is a form of passive manipulation, as the victim uses their powerlessness to get what they want from others.

The Destructive Dynamic

The dynamic between the persecutor and the victim is a destructive and interdependent cycle.

The persecutor needs the victim to feel superior and in control, and the victim needs the persecutor to feel powerless and gain sympathy from others.

This cycle feeds back through blame and manipulation, and is very difficult to break.

To break out of