Integrative Techniques: Polarities

Working with the Empty Chair for external dialogues

The Empty Chair technique is perhaps the most iconic Gestalt tool. It is used to facilitate an imaginary dialogue between the patient and an absent (or present but unable to communicate) person, or even an aspect of a situation.

An empty chair is placed in front of the patient and the patient is asked to imagine that the person in question is sitting there.

The first step is projection: "Visualize your father there. Describe him. How does he look at you?".

Then, the patient is invited to express everything he has stored up ("I am furious because you never defended me"). What is fundamental is not the unilateral catharsis, but the exchange.

The therapist asks the patient to change seats, occupy the empty chair and "become" the other person, responding from that role.

This exercise promotes a visceral understanding of the other's perspective and allows for closure of unfinished business that affects the current relationship.

Integration of polarities through the intrapersonal encounter

Polarities refer to opposing parts of the self that are in conflict (the demanding "top dog" vs. the submissive "bottom dog"; the loving side vs. the resentful side).

Often, patients identify only with one pole and reject the other, projecting it onto their partner ("I am the orderly one, she is the chaos"). The intrapersonal encounter uses two chairs to represent these internal parts.

The patient sits in one chair and speaks as his or her "Responsible Self," criticizing the "Vivid Self."

He then switches chairs and responds by defending his right to pleasure. The therapeutic objective is not for one party to win, but for integration.

The aim is for the patient to recognize that both poles belong to him and have a valid function.

By accepting his own contradictions, he stops demanding that the partner carry his disowned parts and recovers the totality of his being.

Dialogue and synthesis between parts of the self

The process of integration requires that the dialogue between the polarities progress from mutual hostility to recognition and negotiation.

Initially, the parties often attack each other ("You are a bum", "You are a tyrant").

The therapist facilitates the interaction so that each party expresses his or her underlying positive need.

For example, the "Critical" party may reveal that he or she is actually trying to protect the subject from failure, while the "Passive" party is trying to avoid excessive stress.

By understanding the positive intentions of both sides, an internal synthesis or agreement can be reached.

In the couple context, this is vital: when a person integrates their own shadows and lights, they become less reactive and more able to accept the complexity of their partner, no longer seeing the relationship in black and white terms.

Summary

The empty chair facilitates imaginary dialogues with absent persons or internal aspects. It promotes visceral understanding of others' perspectives allowing for closure on unfinished business affecting the current couple's relationship.

The intrapersonal encounter uses two chairs to represent conflicting parts of the self. The objective is to integrate polarities by accepting one's own contradictions in order to stop projecting them onto the partner.

The dialogue between polarities seeks to recognize underlying positive needs behind hostilities. By integrating shadows and lights, the person becomes less reactive and more capable of accepting the complexity of others.