Profiles and Power Dynamics

Psychological characteristics of the aggressor and the victim

Although there is no single profile, certain traits are common in abusive dynamics.

The aggressor usually exhibits low frustration tolerance, impulsivity, and a deep insecurity that masks with grandiosity or control.

They often have difficulty managing emotions and lack assertive communication skills, resorting to aggression to assert themselves.

Externally they may appear charming, reserving cruelty for intimacy.

The victim, on the other hand, may develop a profile characterized by inhibition, low self-esteem and constant self-doubt (learned helplessness).

She does not necessarily start out as a submissive person, but the abuse erodes her autonomy.

Emotional dependency and fear of abandonment or retaliation keep her tied to the traumatic bond.

Abuse as a mechanism of power and control

It is critical to understand that violence is not simply a "loss of control" out of anger, but a deliberate strategy to gain and maintain power over the other.

The abuser uses intimidation, emotional abuse and isolation to establish a hierarchy where his or her needs and desires are the only ones that matter.

The goal is to override the partner's will to ensure his or her submission and permanent availability.

Even acts of physical violence that appear explosive have the instrumental function of restoring the abuser's perceived authority when he feels he is losing control.

In therapy, the idea that abuse is caused by the victim's behavior must be dismantled; it is a choice by the aggressor to manage his own insecurities through domination.

Intergenerational transmission and learning

Family history plays a crucial role. Many individuals who perpetrate or suffer violence come from homes where abuse was the norm.

They have learned and internalized that conflict is resolved through aggression or that love involves suffering and control. This vicarious learning normalizes violence.

A boy who sees his father beat his mother may learn that this is the way to "be a man" or to be respected. A girl may learn that submission is the way to keep the peace.

In treatment, it is vital to explore the genogram and life history to identify these inherited patterns and break the chain o