Types of Complex Affairs

The sexual addiction affair and the search for emptiness.

There are patterns of infidelity where the driver is not a deficit in the primary relationship, but an internal dynamic of the individual seeking to fill an existential void through constant conquest. Brown classifies this as sexual addiction affairs.

The individual, often colloquially described as a "womanizer" or "ladies' man," needs the shot of adrenaline and validation provided by the initial infatuation or seduction of a new person.

For this profile, the steady partner, no matter how good, eventually loses the novelty and stops providing that narcissistic euphoria. Infidelity is compulsive and serial.

Clinically, there is a denial of responsibility and a minimization of the damage caused ("it meant nothing", "I control").

Often, they promise to change, but the cycle repeats itself because the behavior is a failed attempt to feel "alive" and to cover up deep internal deficiencies, which requires an approach closer to addiction treatment than to traditional couple therapy.

The "Empty Nest" affair or rupture of the self

This type of infidelity usually appears in advanced stages of the life cycle, frequently after the children have become independent.

The couple, who have functioned as an efficient parenting team for decades, suddenly find themselves alone and discover that the emotional connection has eroded.

One of the partners, feeling life slipping away, engages in an affair that restores a sense of lost vitality.

Unlike sexual addiction, here there is usually an intense emotional connection with the lover.

The individual is not just looking for sex, but for a new identity or a "second youth."

The prognosis is guarded because the marital relationship is perceived as an empty shell, sustained only by family history and logistics, while the new relationship offers an intimacy and excitement that marriage seems unable to replicate at this stage.

The "Exit" affair as an escape hatch

Finally, we find the "exit affair."

In this scenario, the individual has already decided internally that the relationship is over, but lacks the assertiveness or courage to initiate the breakup outright.

Infidelity is used consciously or unconsciously as the trigger that will force the end.

The patient comes to therapy or leaves obvious clues of his betrayal looking for the therapist or his partner to make the decision for him ("help me get through the door").

The affair acts as a bridge to a new life or as a to