Types of Love II

Sociable or Companionate Love

When a relationship combines Intimacy and Commitment, but lacks Passion, it is called "Companionate Love". This configuration is extremely common in long-term marriages.

The couple functions as an excellent team: they manage the household, raise the children, and support each other as best friends.

There is deep affection and the resolve to stay together is strong. However, the erotic spark has been extinguished.

Often, this is not perceived as a problem until one partner feels the emptiness of lack of desire or physical connection.

In therapy, the goal is not necessarily to return to the passion of courtship, but to renegotiate sexuality and seek ways of physical reconnection that are satisfying for this stage, preventing the relationship from becoming purely a fraternal or logistical cohabitation partnership.

Fatuous or Crazy Love

The mixture of Passion and Commitment without Intimacy gives rise to "Fatuous Love". This type of relationship is exemplified in whirlwind weddings, where a couple marries within weeks of meeting, driven by overwhelming physical attraction.

Commitment is established on the basis of passion, without having developed the trust and mutual knowledge that intimacy brings.

The risk of these relationships is high, as they lack the emotional "glue" needed to resolve conflicts when passion inevitably wanes.

Not really knowing the other (their values, fears, history), the couple faces a reality check when the initial idealization is shattered.

The therapeutic work consists of urgently building the foundation of friendship and intimacy that was skipped at the beginning, to give sustenance to the structure of commitment.

The natural evolution of passion

It is vital to normalize that passion is not an eternal constant. Research suggests that the phase of intense biochemical infatuation lasts between 6 and 30 months. Subsequently, the relationship must transition into a more mature love.

After about four years, many couples experience a significant drop in sexual frequency and passionate intensity, which can be misinterpreted as falling out of love.

This phenomenon, sometimes called the "tolerance effect," involves the brain becoming habituated to the presence of the other.

The challenge is to transform the initial "obsessive" passion into a "harmonious" and sustainable passion.

Couples who survive this transition are those who manage to replace novelty with depth and security, finding new forms of eroticism based on trust and shared history, rather than relying exclusively on neurochemical novelty.

Summary

Sociable love unites intimacy and commitment without sexual passion. Very common in long-lasting marriages that function as excellent teams but require renegotiating their physical connection to avoid emptiness.

Fatuous love combines passion and commitment without prior friendship. These whirlwind marriages face severe reality crises as they lack the emotional glue necessary to resolve conflicts and fundamental differences.

The biochemical infatuation phase is transitory, lasting a maximum of thirty months. Successful couples transform the initial obsessive passion into a harmonious one based on security, depth and a shared history.