Control your reactions

In this chapter, we will explore a method for controlling our emotions and alleviating the burden of emotional reactivity. The goal is to prevent emotions from taking over in an argument and the emotional reaction from overflowing in the form of abuse, shouting or offenses.

We will focus on encouraging calmness and emotional self-regulation through breathing, gaze and body posture modification.

Handling difficult situations.

Dealing with dissatisfaction in an argument can be extremely difficult. It is even more complicated when our emotions are running high and we find it difficult to remain calm.

During an argument, our ego may try to manifest itself and make us believe that giving in is a sign of weakness. We must be attentive to identify when this inner voice is trying to manipulate us and not get carried away by the intensity of the moment.

Over time, you will develop the ability to tolerate frustration and accept that you are not always right. This will allow you to better handle difficult situations and keep an open mind to new perspectives.

As you learn to handle difficult situations in a more compassionate and effective way, you will have a powerful result: your child will see you as someone fair and trustworthy who promotes his or her well-being. The relationship will be strengthened and based on love and equality.

Method.

To improve our emotional self-control, we will use a method that considers the following aspects:

• Relaxation can be achieved through breath control. When we are upset, our breathing speeds up. By controlling it, we send a message to our body that there is nothing to worry about. One effective technique is to breathe hard and fast, alternately plugging each nostril.

• Another effective breathing relaxation technique is to inhale deeply for a count of eight, hold your breath for three seconds and exhale deeply while mentally repeating "I am calm, I am in control". This helps you understand that you are responsible for your emotions and that you only feel what you allow yourself to feel.

• Gaze can be a useful tool to enhance understanding. By paying attention in silence and without judgment, you can better understand the conflict and find a solution. Take note of the needs that arise when you feel the urge to yell or get angry. By doing so, you can identify what is bothering you and find a way to deal with it.

• Before hearing your child's side of the story again, ask him if it's only your fault or if he also did something to provoke the situation. If necessary, apologize and hug your child. Be sure to clarify your doubts before you begin to avoid distractions and