How to earn respect

If you think that a parent does not need to earn the respect of his or her children, you are wrong.

There are many families in which the parent-child relationship is not based on respect or admiration. Instead, a dynamic is established in which the parent gives orders and the child complies without question.

At what point did children become robots who blindly comply with external mandates? They too think and question certain laws imposed without a brief family consensus.

Law.

• This is my house and what I say will be done.

Does the phrase ring a bell? That imposed law is fine if you want to appear to be an ogre to your children. If you want to look like an understanding and trustworthy parent, don't repeat it.

Notice how much the "imitation" effect of our behavior works on our children that we heard that phrase from our parents, and they in turn picked it up from their parents, and so on and so forth. If you want to earn the respect of your children, let me tell you that this is the last resort.

Consideration.

Before you think about earning your child's respect, let me share the following: Teenagers, as a rule, are not considerate. But don't take it personally. During this stage, one's perception of oneself can become distorted, coming to feel that no one understands them.

For some things they are a small child and for others they are already quite big. So don't think that by telling them, "How inconsiderate they are," they will begin to respect you.

Be persistent with boundaries.

However, it is possible to educate in "consideration". To do this, we have already discussed the importance of exercising positive authority and setting firm boundaries. It is important to avoid overstepping boundaries.

A boundary is there for a reason. If you later feel it's not necessary, deny it with your child, but don't take it away because you "see it as out of place." You are not Hitler; things can't be done just because you say so. Your child also feels and interprets situations.

Set an example.

During the first seven years of life, you tend to imitate the behaviors you observe in your environment and adopt beliefs that are not your own, just because you, as a parent, are the closest reference to him or her.

Don't try to force him/her to maintain a respectful attitude with the people he/she crosses if you are the first one unable to do so. Have the moral authority to review what things you demand and do not do. The blunt assertion of "I am the parent, I can do it" doesn't work.

Admiration.

You influence by example, you don't let limits be transgressed and you dedicate a space for calm conversation. Do you know what effect you will achieve?

Admiration: one of the main pillars that your child unconsciously demands from you.

If you also make yourself known as an accessible person who understands and tries to be interested in the things that are important to him, you will be welcome to contribute or give advice in his life. They don't give that place to just anyone.

Guidance.

Next, we will unravel some questions to know how to guide parenting towards strengthening behavior. Make sure that after the discussion is over, both of you remain silent, thus preventing the ego from interfering in the answers and trying to be always right:

• How do you feel?

• How do you think you would have felt if you had acted differently?

• Do you feel your response was appropriate?

These additional questions encourage honesty:

• Was what you felt in that moment authentic? Take a moment to reflect on the gains or losses you made - was it wort