The words you use

Words have a great impact on our mood and how we perceive ourselves. That is why it is important to choose them carefully and use them in a positive way.

We all have a unique way of giving and receiving love, and understanding the "love language" of those with whom we interact allows us to communicate more effectively.

Meaning of words.

Often, without paying attention to the meaning of words, we make the mistake of talking too much or too little.

These mistakes reveal ineffective or improvised thinking. For example, expressing 'I love you' in the middle of a heated argument that seems to be about to lead to physical aggression would not be consistent with the message of love that one wants to convey.

Tips for avoiding mistakes.

Here are some tips to avoid common mistakes:

• It is important to avoid using the verb 'to be' when talking about someone's personality, especially a child. Instead of saying things like 'You're a crybaby' or 'You're unbearable,' we can use the verb 'to be' to focus on the situation rather than the person. For example, we can say, 'You seem more sensitive today' or 'Is something bothering you?'

• Avoid generalizing negative events. Instead of saying things like 'You always do the same thing' or 'You never take care of anything,' we should focus on the specific behavior and how it can be improved.

• In addition, it is crucial to understand the distinction between praising and encouraging. Praising means acknowledging and expressing admiration for something someone has done well, while encouraging means motivating someone to keep going.

Praise.

Praising is a powerful tool for reinforcing positive behavior. By acknowledging a particular trait or accomplishment, you are providing the child with positive feedback.

For example, in the present tense, you might say, "I appreciate the way you behave when we have guests over." Or in the past tense, "I remember how well behaved you were when we had guests and I am very proud of you." This helps the child realize that he or she did something well done and that good deeds are not forgotten.

Encouraging.

We encourage someone when we acknowledge their process and effort. For example, instead of simply saying, "Good job!" we might say, "It's admirable that you studied for three hours," or "You got good grades because of your effort. Is there anything we can do to keep getting these results?"

In this way, we encourage the person to continue and maintain his or her productivity, rather than simply praising the result in a superficial way.

Giving encouragement while checking progress on a task can prevent loss of motivation. We can offer words of encouragement during the process, such as, "You're doing great," or "Can I see what you're doing?" When young children think they are the center of attention, they are likely to put more effort into completing a task.

For adolescents, on the other hand, feeling that they have some freedom and independence may be more important. Phrases like "I trust you" can be effective in motivating them.

Love language.

When praising and encouraging children, it is useful to take into account their 'love language', i.e., the different ways they express and receive affection, to strengthen