Strategies to manage feelings of guilt

Guilt, when functional, helps us repair our relationships and become better people. But when it becomes chronic or disproportionate, it becomes a dysfunctional emotion.

It paralyzes us, torments us, and prevents us from moving forward. Far from helping us act differently, it immobilizes us in remorse.

In these cases, there are several strategies that can help us lessen its impact.

The first and most important is to realize that guilt cannot change the past. Ruminating on what we did wrong will not change the facts.

We must ask ourselves: How many things am I avoiding doing in the present because of the past? Accepting what happened is the first step to freeing ourselves.

Second, it is crucial to reconsider our value system.

We must analyze which values are truly ours and which are inherited or imposed on us. This will help us be more honest with ourselves.

And to realize when a feeling of guilt is totally dispensable because it does not respond to our current principles.

It is also useful to try to be more objective.

We must evaluate the true consequences of our behavior. Often, our mind exaggerates the seriousness of our actions.

Was what I did really that terrible? Or am I punishing myself excessively? Another strategy is not to allow other people to manipulate us through guilt.

Sometimes, others may try to make us feel guilty to get what they want. We must be true to our own value system.

If we believe we must do something that others will not approve of, we must do it, assuming the consequences with responsibility, not with guilt.

Summary

Functional guilt can drive us to grow, but when it becomes chronic or disproportionate, it transforms into an emotional burden that paralyzes and blocks us. It's essential to learn how to manage it.

A key strategy is to accept the past and stop mentally punishing ourselves. Reflecting on whether guilt is preventing us from moving forward and whether it stems from our own or inherited values can help us free ourselves from unnecessary blame.

It's also helpful to question the objectivity of guilt. We often exaggerate our faults. Furthermore, we must avoid being emotionally manipulated by others and act according to our personal values, not because of external impositions.