Cognitive distortions

Thoughts and emotions are processed cognitively and sometimes irrationally, as certain "schemas". Identified in this way, by a certain logical and categorical order established by the brain, in reference to words, motivations or phrases that identify us and constitute reflections of our personality. You are attracted to the idea of being a mother, there is not and will not be a single child on the face of the earth, how innocent and pure, who looks at you and does not see the love expressed in your eyes. These ideas are fragmented into a single category: "I like children" or "I want to be a mother". Of course, these precepts can change, due to the presence and experience of adverse situations. In this video we will work on the cognitive distortion of accepting negative beliefs without judging them.

What are cognitive distortions?

You activate battery saving on your cell phone. You create shortcuts to phone numbers. With a single "click", you access the number and that's it. You save time and unnecessary steps, right? Your frontal lobe, dedicated to processing and reasoning the information, thinks the same. The process occurs as follows.

You drop a vase on the floor for the first time. That vase is from your mother's new collection. Oh my God! You see the mess just walk through the door and:

• How clumsy you are! -You can't take care of anything, you take everything with you! -Your little brain takes these phrases for granted. You are so clumsy.That discomfort you feel for having smashed a valuable object becomes a PATTERN.What is this? Your brain tells you.

• Look, I'm not going to act any differently in circumstances like this. Every time you break something, I'm going to make you feel awkward. And yes, when you drop a plastic cup, too. I will avoid thinking. I'll just activate this automatic pattern so you'll continue to feel clumsy. You're welcome.

• When we assume, unconsciously, that we are clumsy, without analyzing that it was unintentional or that we should not have played with the ball inside the house, we create a conviction, which results in a maladaptive pattern.

Cognitive restructuring.

Cognitive distortions become an "error" of how we process information and its consequent generalizing effect over time. How many times has something similar happened to you? It is important to discover the mental patterns we have in order to attack the root and establish an efficient cognitive restructuring through the following ways of proceeding:

• The first step is to discover what situation, specifically, activates those conditioned motives. If you do not understand your actions at certain times, you may be in the presence of an automatic response.

• Determine it. Try to remember some of those moments of mental paralysis. The second step is to "make noise" to hinder what you are thinking or doing at that moment.

• The logical brain will demand attention, and it is that attention, such as: tapping the air or the table and saying, "stop," that will distract the automatic thinking from developing. Settle that new phrase and repeat it to yourself as many times as you can.

• I am not clumsy, I just have to be more careful in the sudden movements I make.

• As a third step, generate an action that is associated with the opposite thought. I am not clumsy and begin to paint or do some handicraft, something in which you need to possess delicacy and order. Do not think of it as self-deception, it is an exercise.

Types of cognitive distortions.

We identify different types of cognitive distortions, some of them you will recognize by their frequent character:

• Linked to inflexibility: we are reluctant to adapt to circumstances in a positive way, and therefore we resort to extreme thoughts. If you don't tell me you love me, you don't love me. Because you have NEVER loved me.

• We tend to make decisions watching only negative options. If you don't tell me you love me we separate or I will spend my whole life bitter.

• We use labels to challenge any change. You are insensitive and nothing will change that. It doesn't matter what you do.

• To continue we have a misunderstood perception. Those times that we want to read our minds to stop being angry or that everything that happens to us is assumed in a personal way and that we have an absolute responsibility in everything or on the contrary lack of control.

• We believe that by "feeling" that we bore the other person, we bore the person.

• We assume some needs that are not real, "You must give me a good morning kiss to start the day well", when these needs are not fulfilled, we evoke frustration. Because we want not, we demand, that they fulfill what we want, do we forget the fact that we are different beings? On this last point, but not least, we have.
• The simple fact of "ignoring". Sometimes we do not allow ourselves to give our arm to twist. We ignore the positive, granting ourselves the medal of the "fortune teller", without knowing that we speak from what has already happened to us. We have the support and knowledge to undertake our project, we just decide to "believe" that we really do not have enough tools to carry it out. Therefore we give ourselves the permission to continue self-supplying ourselves in the most absolute mental misery, to continue with catastrophic habits to depress us and to drink ice cream while we continue complaining.