Emotional intelligence in coaching

Emotional intelligence allows us to manage our emotions, to educate our moods in order to be able to respond to daily conflicts. It contains a set of skills that enables us to better understand ourselves but also to interact and connect with others. It helps us to express correctly what we feel and what we want, and to influence others. Understanding all this has a positive impact on our health and personal growth.

Emotions are neither good nor bad, they are responses of our organism that have a function and a determined duration. Feelings are conscious and can last much longer, it is the sum of emotion and thought passing through the filter of our subjectivity.

What we do with what we feel is what counts. We can react, hide, repress or respond to it. What we choose to do can positively or negatively impact our life, whether we overestimate or underestimate the stimulus or experience.

Our relationship with emotions is shaped by our environment, family dynamics, upbringing and the culture of which we are a part. Traditionally they have been seen as something that is just there, part of us and we can't do anything about it. The few times that attempts are made to address the issue of emotions and feelings is to try to change, control or suppress by force of will what are considered negative emotions or feelings.

Fortunately, this is something that is slowly changing in the educational and family environment. More and more emotional intelligence skills are being incorporated into our children's education, although there is still a long way to go. But what about adults? How can they manage their emotions at this stage? How can they help themselves to help their children or those around them?

Relationship between emotional intelligence and coaching

The term emotional intelligence has become extremely popular and although many have heard it, it does not mean that they fully understand what it is all about, let alone how to apply it to make a real change in their lives.

This whole emotional intelligence revolution is fairly recent. Fortunately, in addition to all the information available there are specialties like coaching that have stepped up to make a difference.

In coaching, different strategies, techniques and tools are used to ensure that the client finds their own path to their goal and the practice of emotional intelligence is always present in this process.

A coach helps his client to discover information about himself and how he can make the best decisions. He offers him tools so that he is able to interpret his emotions and establish the relationship with what is happening to him and the possible triggers. As it is the client himself who finds the answers, the process only strengthens his self-esteem and self-confidence.

The appropriate questions are used so that the client questions himself until he understands the situation he is living and finds the causes of his moods, feelings and thoughts.

The process helps them to:

• Understand the causes of emotional blocks in order to work on them.

• Understand what you feel and contrast it with the actions and behaviors you adopt in this regard. Analyze if it is the most appropriate response.

• To recognize in which situations uncontrollable emotions appear in order to learn how to manage them.

• To achieve a balance between personal and professional life, to avoid emotions that drain and stress us.

• Recognize what you feel and accept it in order to overcome it.

• Find valuable information on how people relate to themselves, if they are being too harsh or self-demanding.

• Create strategies that allow them to respond rather than react, i.e. apply their intelligence and thoughts as allies to train their mind.

• Align their feelings with their values so that they do not cling to vain desires that will not bring them satisfaction.

• Apply their emotional experience to see beyond their own feelings and understand what others may be feeling depending on the context.

• Evaluate the emotional impact of their decisions to choose the best option.

What can be done to develop emotional intelligence?

Different actions can be taken to recognize our emotions, to identify them, connect with them and find ways to express them and use them to our advantage at the right time.

For examp