The rapport

In a relevant conversation, where you need the communication to be clear and the terms and concepts to have a common meaning, i.e. you and your interlocutor are on the same page, you will certainly do your best to ensure a good result. Pay attention, understand their point of view, ask questions, confirm that you understood each other. If you are lucky, not only will you communicate effectively, but you will create a relationship of affinity and trust. This is called rapport building.

Rapport is a term that comes from French and means precisely to create a relationship. It is the ingredient that makes communication flow. It is a connection that has empathy as its primary component. Rapport is something that happens in real time but creates the basis for a lasting bond.

Rapport as a communication technique

Nowadays we are more aware than ever of the advantages and benefits of rapport to achieve progress in interpersonal relationships. Therefore, it has become a technique within communication. The effective application of this technique guarantees a good starting point to establish lasting relationships.

It is a technique used by psychologists, coaches, consultants, sales personnel, customer service, or within organizations to improve interpersonal relationships and enhance teamwork. In short for anyone who needs to reach a state of understanding, acceptance and comfort with another.

It allows you to:

• Create a fluid and spontaneous communication.

• Increase the level of confidence.

• Be memorable to your interlocutor.

• Get more influence and attention from the other person.

• Avoid misunderstandings and uncomfortable situations.

Elements that help to create rapport

Some people are more social than others, able to create rapport instinctively and naturally. For those who need help, the good news is that it can become a skill that you can develop and train.

It is not just about nodding and agreeing with everything the interlocutor says, nor is it about being combative. It is about finding a balance where both parties feel comfortable and in harmony. It is about finding common ground to create that connection and lessen the natural resistance to meeting and opening up to a stranger.

The elements that help to create rapport are:

• Empathy: it is an exercise that takes effort and training because it involves understanding what they tell you from the other person's point of view and experience, not from your own experiences. Even if you don't agree, you can understand their opinions and decisions. In a way, get involved in that person's life and do not judge.

• Eye contact: if the exchange is in person this is an element that helps to reaffirm your level of interest in the conversation. During the exchange adjust this element to make it comfortable for both of you. Looking at the person who is talking to you for a prolonged period of time can be counterproductive, for example if he/she is a shy person.
• Body language: being aware of the interlocutor's body language and your own is essential. Body language is as important (sometimes more so) as verbal communication. The way you move and react during the exchange (gestures and posture), offer many clues as to what is really going on in the other person's mind and mood.
• Intonation: this is a component of communication that we also register and that influences, sometimes unconsciously, the reading of a situation. It becomes more important if the exchange is only auditory. In this case, the tone of voice replaces body language and we must make an effort to ensure that the intention and emotion behind the words is perceptible to the interlocutor. We must use a dynamic tone, which is another way to reinforce the message.

• Emotional intelligence: correctly reading the emotions of those around us is an advantage when building rapport. Identifying the emotions that move others prevents us from getting frustrated and we can even positively influence the other person to change his or her attitude. The importance of being timely, of saying the right word at the right time should not be underestimated. It also has to do with knowing how to manage our emotions in order to react appropriately in each situation.

Tips to create rapport

When it comes to creating rapport, form is as important as content. We seek to connect with the other person, so accompanying words with body language, tone of voice and actions that bring naturalness, coherence and harmony is essential.

Some techniques you can also use are:

• Break the ice when introducing yourself: it is part of the first impression in the relationship you want to build. You have to invest a little time to make the other person feel comfortable. This is the opportunity to show interest in the other person without being intrusive and to set the tone of the conversation. At this stage you are generally looking for common ground but without touching on topics that are too personal.
• Avoid prejudices: the objective of empathy is to help the other person with the problems he/she is facing, but not from pity. Try to put ourselves in his place, why does he say what he says? Listening without making immediate judgments gives us the opportunity to focus on similarities rather than differences. Finding common ground is critical to rapport.

• Imitate their communication style: one of the techniques that is sometimes used is Mirroring, in which we become a mirror for our interlocutor. Imitating the speaking style and body language helps to