Trust with emotions

The nature of trust is a topic that has been addressed by numerous experts from various fields. Is it a social good? Is it an emotional, or cognitive response? Is it a positive attitude? A behavior? A gamble? Is it innate or a product of our social construction?

Those who advocate the innate approach to trust refer to the automatic trust we feel for our parents, for example. However, trust is subject to positive and negative experiences. There may be people who are more trusting and others, in whom there may be real discomfort in trusting others.

The answers are varied and often contradictory, but all agree that it is essential in order to establish profitable business, social and personal relationships.

Trust cannot be forced

The truth is that we enjoy a fuller life and psychological well-being when we have relationships based on trust. Trust implies security. People value feeling that they are in a safe environment, free from threats.

There is currently a crisis of trust in society. It can be seen in politics, with public and law enforcement institutions, with the media, with companies or in our interpersonal relationships. Trust is what unites us and allows us to coordinate actions in such a way that everything flows and there is cooperation. So if instead of building trust, trust is defrauded or deceived, it only generates doubts and stagnation.

Once we lose trust in something or someone, it is difficult to recover. Trust cannot be forced, you cannot demand or force others to trust you. It is a judgment that everyone makes and decides to grant it only when it meets certain requirements, which although they change from one person to another, they have some elements in common.

How do you learn to trust someone you don't know? Surely you take into account what they say and how they say it (body language). Not only that, but their words have to match their behavior, and this has to happen repeatedly to really start to trust that person.

The foundations of trust

Trust is to some extent a gamble; we make an estimate of how much we can trust another person. Depending on the nature of the relationship we can put ourselves at risk and in a vulnerable position; even so it is positive to open new doors.

According to social psychology, what we try to determine in other people is whether they are sincere:

Are they sincere, is there a correspondence between their words, thoughts and actions. Are they courageous enough to live according to their values. Are they willing to follow through on what they say.

Are they competent? They have the personal capabilities to fulfill what was agreed upon. That is, the necessary skills, aptitudes and attitudes. In this way we assess their effectiveness. They may be honest but if they are not able to perform the action they unfortunately demonstrate that they are unreliable.

Are they accountable? The level of commitment they display to deliver. Not only with dedication and effort but with the awareness of the commitment acquired, and with their capacity to assume the consequences in case of setbacks.

There are also other more subjective or subtle issues that affect the perception of trustworthiness. Traits such as humility, spontaneity, accessibility, generosity (in the sense of seeking mutual benefit), or the ability to forgive and apologize.

Keep in mind that sometimes people create false expectations. The person may fulfill what was agreed upon and yet the other party is not satisfied. Sometimes we expect others to act the way we want them to at all costs. So it is important to always communicate well and distinguish between the two situations.

Importance of trust in coaching

Trust between coach and coachee is the first thing that must be established during a coaching process. All consequent work will only be successful if this element is present. Create a safe environment for the client where they feel comfortable to address any issues and actively participate in resolving their limitations.

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