Relying on others

The basis of a good relationship is trust. In fact, our management of trust determines our quality of life. Just think how important it is to be able to trust the most significant relationships in your life: your family, your friends, your partner, perhaps your boss, or your business partners. In one way or another, to a greater or lesser extent we need to establish a level of trust in our relationships in order to feel good and to thrive.

Components of trust

We expect the other person, institution, agency or business to do their part according to the agreement, tacit or otherwise, that has been established. We trust our partner to be faithful to us, our children trust us to protect them, our boss trusts us to be effective in our role and to perform tasks to the best of our ability, and so on.

The extent of trust we place in people is limited. We make an estimate of how much we can trust the other person. You may be able to trust someone to listen to you in a moment of crisis and give you advice, but that same person is not necessarily reliable to help you with the organization of your business, for example.

In other words, we look for certain requirements in people that make them trustworthy in our eyes. Basically, they inspire confidence in us because of aspects related to sincerity, character, competence and responsibility:

• Sincerity: whether their words reflect their behavior and vice versa.

• Character: personality traits and qualities for which we feel affinity and give us confidence, such as spontaneity, humility, generosity, honesty, tenacity.

• Competence: ability to deliver effectively. If they have not only the attitude but also the skills we need.

• Responsibility: if they are able to commit themselves and assume the consequences of their actions.

It is essential that these requirements are stable over time, i.e. consistent. Expectations must have been met several times. Only then will we begin to really trust what the other person offers us.

Levels of trust

Self-confidence: both to learn to trust and to inspire confidence in others, it is necessary to trust oneself first. In our capacities to achieve what we want. Self-confidence is built with the perception of our successes and failures, depending on how we experience and interpret them, they will be an advantage or a burden when relating to others.

Trust in others: we are social beings and we need to have people we trust to accompany us on our journey. If we want solid relationships, we must understand that trust is one of the main components.

Inspire trust: to do so, we must be trustworthy. This is achieved by being consistent with our values and living according to our beliefs. Maintaining an open and honest attitude also helps. Once we get consistent results over a period of time we will gain the trust of others.

Trust in the coaching process

One of the fundamentals of coaching is that people potentially have all the resources they need to change and improve. So trusting others, having confidence that others can change if they want to, is part of trusting the coaching process itself.

Also, part of being more valuable in your relationships is earning people's trust, and the coach-coachee relationship is no exception. If we don't gain the client's trust, the process will fail. The key is simple, we let him/her know that we are