Keys to durability in couple relationships

Research in psychology has devoted considerable effort to understanding which factors contribute to long-lasting and satisfying relationships, and which, on the contrary, predict their deterioration and eventual breakup.

Understanding these dynamics is essential to cultivating healthy love bonds.

Predictors of Divorce. The "Four Horsemen".

Dr. John Gottman, after studying thousands of couples over decades, identified four highly destructive communication behaviors, which he called the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" of relationships.

Their presence in a couple's interaction is a strong predictor of divorce, with over 90% accuracy observing only a few minutes of conversation. These are:

• Contempt: Considerado el peor de los cuatro, implica mirar al otro desde una posición de superioridad, con sarcasmo, cinismo, insultos o ridiculización.

• Criticism: Atacar la personalidad o el carácter del otro, en lugar de quejarse de un comportamiento específico.

• Defensive Attitude (Defensiveness): No asumir la responsabilidad por las propias acciones, responder a las quejas con excusas o contraataques.

• Stonewalling: Retirarse de la interacción, desconectarse emocionalmente, ignorar al otro o recurrir al silencio como forma de evadir el conflicto.

The Magic Ratio. Positive vs. Negative Interactions.

Beyond avoiding destructive behaviors, research has also revealed what characterizes couples who stay together happily.

A crucial finding is the "magic ratio" of interactions: successful couples maintain a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every negative interaction during conflicts.

Positive interactions include expressions of affection, support, humor, interest and understanding.

Refusals are those involving the Four Horsemen or other forms of hostility.

This favorable balance of positivity is what allows couples to repair the damage of difficult times and maintain a strong connection.

Promoting Longevity in Couples

To keep a couple's