Management of emotional reactivity to others

A fundamental technique to lessen the impact of negative emotions in one's life is to learn not to be reactive to other people's negative emotions.

This involves developing the ability to maintain one's emotional stability even when in the presence of someone who is experiencing and expressing intense emotions such as anger, sadness or frustration.

Negative Emotional Contagion

Emotions can be contagious. When a person close to us or with whom we interact is experiencing a strong negative emotion, such as anger over a work problem, it is easy for that emotion to "carry over" or affect us, leading us to feel angry or upset as well, even if the original problem does not directly concern us.

We should not allow another person's depression to depress us, their anger to make us angry, or their hatred and resentment to become our own feelings towards others.

Maintaining One's Calmness and Perspective

The key to not being reactive is to develop the ability to observe the other person's emotion without absorbing it or identifying with it.

You can be sympathetic and empathetic, listening to the person and allowing them to unburden themselves, but without being drawn into their emotional state.

For example, if a partner comes home very angry about an incident at work and begins to express that anger, the other person can listen carefully and validate his or her feelings ("I understand that you feel that way"), but without the need to also get angry about the same situation or take it as a personal attack if it is not.

Setting Emotional Boundaries

Not being reactiv