Assertive techniques for expressing opinions and needs

Developing assertiveness involves learning and practicing specific techniques that facilitate the clear, direct, and respectful expression of one's opinions, feelings, and needs.

These techniques help you communicate more effectively and defend your rights without resorting to passivity or aggression.

The "Broken Record" Technique

This technique consists of repeating your own request or statement calmly and persistently, like a "broken record," without being diverted by the other person's arguments, excuses, or attempts to manipulate them.

For example, when someone insists on doing something you don't want to do: "I understand your point, but I'm not going to be able to help you with that this time."

If the other person insists: "Yes, I understand that it's important to you, but as I told you, I'm not going to be able to help you."

The goal is to be firm in your position without getting into unnecessary arguments.

The Fogging

Fogging is used to handle criticism or hostile comments.

It involves partially acknowledging or accepting the truth in what the other person is saying (if there is one), or accepting the possibility that they may be right, without giving in to your position or feeling compelled to defend yourself aggressively.

Example: "You may be right that I'm a bit disorganized sometimes."

This can be disarming to the critic, as they don't encounter the resistance or confrontation they were hoping for.

Negative Assertion

This involves accepting one's own mistakes or shortcomings assertively, without excessive excuses or excessive self-criticism.

Example: "Yes, it's true that I was late to the meeting, I'm sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused."

This demonstrates responsibility and can reduce criticism.

Negative Questioning

When receiving vague or generalized criticism, this technique involves asking the other person to be more specific and clarify what exactly is bothering them or what they did wrong.

Example: "When you say I'm inconsiderate, what exactly do you mean? Could you give me a specific example?"

This helps you better understand the criticism and avoid misun