Batterer Recovery Tactics ([Hoovering])

Identifying Hoovering Attempts and Manufactured Crises

The term "Hoovering" describes the tactical maneuvers employed by the narcissist to reabsorb the victim into the abusive dynamic when he or she feels that he or she is losing control. These tactics exploit the victim's empathy and vulnerability.

A common method is the fabrication of false crises or medical emergencies (e.g., suicide threats, sudden serious illness) designed to activate the rescuer instinct and guilt in the victim.

Another variant is the pretense of normalcy, where the batterer acts as if the breakup or abuse never occurred, ignoring established boundaries and contacting a disconcerting familiarity.

The underlying goal is not genuine reconciliation, but recovery of the "supply" (attention, resources, validation) that the victim provided.

To respond to these crises, even to offer help, is to fall back into the trap of operant conditioning.

Responses to Gifts and Declarations of Love

In an attempt at seduction or secondary love bombing, the offender may resort to grandiose gestures.

This includes sending nostalgic gifts, flowers, money or tickets to significant events.

Accompanying the material, deep declarations of love, detailed letters of regret or poems, designed to evoke memories of the initial idealization phase, emerge.

These actions should not be interpreted as a change in character, but as a calculated investment to recover a lost asset.

The strategic response to these stimuli should be absolute indifference and elimination of the objects or messages without interaction.

Like the sirens' song in the Odyssey, these messages seek to lure the ship onto the rocks; recognizing that the intent is purely manipulative and self-serving is the key to staying the course of recovery.

Steadfastness in the face of Silent Punishment and the "Law of Ice".

Paradoxically, a form of reverse "Hoovering" is the application of the "Law of Ice" (silent treatment).

If active attempts fail, the narcissist may choose to ostensibly ignore the victim, hoping that anxiety over the loss of contact will prom pt her to seek him out.

This is a passive-aggressive control tactic designed to provoke insecurity and despair.

The defense against this tactic is to reframe silence not as a punishment, but as a release.

By not reacting, not pleading, and not seeking contact to "fix" the silence, the victim breaks the pattern of reinforcement.

Ignoring this behavior and redirecting attention to activities of her own signals to the aggressor that her absence no longer has coercive power, thus consolidating the victim's autonomy.

Summary

Hoovering consists of tactical maneuvers to reabsorb the victim by exploiting her empathy through fabricated crises or fake medical emergencies. The underlying goal is not genuine reconciliation, but to regain the supply of care, resources, and control that the victim previously provided.

The offender may attempt secondary "Love Bombing" through nostalgic gifts and profound statements to evoke the initial idealization phase. These actions are calculated investments that must be met with absolute indifference, eliminating messages or objects without interaction so as not to fall into the manipulative trap.

If seduction fails, they may apply the "Law of Ice" or silent treatment to provoke insecurity and desperation in the victim. The defense consists of reframing this silence as a release and not as punishment, consolidating autonomy by not reacting or begging for contact.