Authenticity as Sustainability

The metabolic cost of facade

Authenticity in relationships is not only an ethical issue, but an energetic one. Maintaining a facade, pretending to be someone we are not or suppressing our true needs in order to please, has a very high metabolic cost.

It is comparable to walking permanently in shoes two sizes too small or trying to keep a beach ball submerged under water; it requires constant and exhausting effort.

When a relationship is based on performance ("inauthenticity"), the participants are vitally drained.

Energy that should be used for growth and enjoyment is wasted on maintaining the disguise.

Imagine someone who hates crowds but pretends to be an extroverted party animal to attract a mate. Every social event becomes a torture that drains his internal battery.

Over time, this discrepancy becomes unsustainable and irritability, depression or relationship breakdown arises.

In contrast, authenticity is a source of energy. Being yourself is the state of least resistance.

When we align what we think, say and do, we release a flow of vitality.

A sustainable relationship can only be built on the truth of who we are, because it is the only thing we can maintain in the long run without exhausting ourselves.

Authenticity as a filter and catalyst

Being authentic works like a highly efficient magnetic filter. By showing ourselves as we are, without diluting our essence, we automatically repel those who do not resonate with our truth and attract those who do.

This, far from being a problem, is a blessing. It avoids wasting time with people with whom we would have to pretend for life.

Authenticity polarizes: maybe not everyone will like us, but those who like us will love us for who we really are, not for an illusion. Moreover, authenticity is contagious.

When one member of the couple or family system dares to drop the masks and speak from the heart, it gives implicit permission to others to do the same. It creates a safe space where vulnerability is welcome.

People who truly love us will always support our authenticity because they want to see us flourish, not wilt into a fake role.

Living authenticall