Circle of Control vs. Circle of Concern

Two Circles for Understanding Our Lives

Another way to expand our sense of self is to become fully aware of our circle of control, distinguishing it from that which lies outside of it.

This means having absolute clarity about what we are responsible for and what we are not, and knowing whether or not we can do anything about it.

Most of the stress we feel in our daily lives comes from focusing our energy and attention on things over which we have no control.

According to Stephen Covey's theory, we can divide our worries into an outer circle of worry and a much smaller circle of control.

Understanding this difference is essential to being able to direct our efforts effectively and stop wasting our energy on battles we cannot win.

The Circle of Worry: The Realm of the Uncontrollable

The circle of worry is the outer area that encompasses everything we think about but, in reality, cannot directly control.

This includes factors such as the weather, traffic, the global economy, politics, the news, and most importantly, what other people think.

Within this circle are also our relationships, which we can influence, but never control, as ultimately people act on their own.

Taking excessive responsibility for the things in this circle, especially other people, is one of the surest ways to create anxiety.

This is often our greatest source of worry and stress, as we invest our mental time in problems over which we have no real influence.

The Circle of Control: Our Only True Dominion

In contrast, the circle of control is the inner circle, which contains all those things that are directly and absolutely under our complete and total dominion.

This is the only area where we are totally responsible and where we have the real power to initiate changes and make decisions that alter the results.

Although it is not specified in detail, this circle refers to our own thoughts, our emotions, and, above all, our own behavior and actions.

It is our only area of sovereignty, the space where we stop being victims of circumstances