General characteristics of the aggressor

The social mask and the double facet

One of the most disconcerting aspects of psychological violence is the apparent normality of the aggressor outside the domestic sphere.

There is no "visual profile" that allows easy identification, since violence is not exclusively linked to a particular social class or educational level.

Frequently, these individuals develop a "mask of mental health" and social charm.

In their work and friendly environment, they are often described as nice people, exemplary workers, good neighbors and dedicated parents.

This discrepancy between their public behavior (conciliatory and kind) and their private behavior (tyrannical and cruel) is what isolates the victim, since no one on the outside would suspect the reality that is lived indoors.

The aggressor invests a lot of energy in maintaining this impeccable image, since his reputation is a tool of power that he will use to discredit his partner if she tries to denounce the situation.

Cognitive rigidity and gender mandates

Beyond possible pathologies, a common trait in most batterers is the adherence to an extremely rigid belief system, especially regarding gender roles.

These individuals often internalize patriarchal cultural mandates that legitimize male supremacy and female subordination.

This rigidity is not necessarily a mental illness, but the result of a socialization that normalizes control.

The aggressor perceives the woman not as an equal, but as a complement who must fulfill specific expectations of submission and obedience.

When the victim deviates from this pre-established script or shows autonomy, the aggressor interprets this as an attack on his identity and authority, reacting with hostility to "restore order".

Insecurity and poor management of emotions

Under the appearance of omnipotence and security, the general profile of the aggressor hides a deep insecurity and low self-esteem that he tries to compensate by dominating the other.

They are individuals with a remarkable inability to tolerate frustration or stress; in the face of any conflict, they project their shortcomings onto their partner.

They have a pathological fear of abandonment, which paradoxically leads them to exert a suffocating control that deteriorates the relationship.

In addition, they tend to consider the expression of emotions as a sign of vulnerability or weakness, so they repress their feelings and use sexuality not as an act of intimacy, but as another way of aggression or reaffirmation of power.

Summary

One of the most disconcerting traits is their "social mask" of normality. Outside the home they are often charming and kind, creating a discrepancy with their private cruelty that isolates the victim.

These individuals often exhibit extreme cognitive rigidity regarding gender roles. They internalize patriarchal mandates where women must be submissive, reacting with hostility to any sign of female autonomy.

Under their appearance of security, they hide a deep insecurity and low self-esteem. They are unable to tolerate frustration and project their shortcomings on their partner, exercising control to manage their fear of abandonment.