Ghosting and intermittent abandonment

Unilateral withdrawal as aggression

Although the term Ghosting is popularly associated with dating apps, in the context of an abusive relationship it is a tactic of emotional cruelty and passive aggression.

It consists of disappearing from a partner's life or cutting off communication abruptly and without explanation.

It is not simply stopping talking; it is a unilateral withdrawal that denies the victim the right to reply or closure.

The "ghost" exercises total control over the narrative and the interaction, prioritizing his or her comfort and avoiding any confrontation, while leaving the other in an abyss of uncertainty.

The obsessive loop and self-blame

The psychological impact of this disappearance is severe. The lack of explanation generates in the victim's brain an "open loop": the human mind needs to resolve ambiguities, and in the face of silence, it enters an obsessive state searching for a logical cause.

This triggers a spiral of self-blame and cognitive dissonance. The victim compulsively asks himself "what did I do wrong?", "did I say something offensive?", internalizing the rejection as his own failure.

In addition, a sense of "disposability" is generated: feeling that one was not worthy of even a farewell directly hits the self-esteem and validates previously implanted insecurities.

Conditioning and the return of the "zombie".

In psychological violence, Ghosting is often not the end, but an intermittent tactic of punishment and conditioning.

The offender disappears for days to generate panic and despair, then returns as if nothing happened (sometimes called zombieing).

This unapologetic return teaches the victim to accept "crumbs" of attention and to live in constant fear of abandonment.

Upon returning, the victim is so relieved that he is not gone forever that she does not claim his absence, implicitly accepting that he has the right to leave and return whenever he wants, thus cementing the power imbalance in the relationship.

Summary

In abuse, Ghosting is a unilateral and aggressive withdrawal intended to punish; the aggressor cuts off communication abruptly without explanation, exercising total control and leaving the victim in an abyss of uncertainty.

The silence generates an obsessive "open loop" in the victim's mind, triggering a spiral of self-blame where she internalizes the rejection as her own failure, feeling disposable and severely damaging her self-esteem.

Often the aggressor returns unapologetically to restart the cycle; this return relieves the victim's panic, conditioning her to accept crumbs of attention and consolidating the power imbalance through fear of abandonment.