Mockery, sarcasm and irony

Humor as a disguise for contempt

The aggressor often hides behind the mask of the "joker" or the ironist to channel his aggression in a socially acceptable way.

Mockery is one of his favorite ways to destabilize, as it allows him to say atrocities under the guise of humor.

However, these "jokes" are not innocent; they always hide an underlying message loaded with contempt, humiliation and ridicule towards the partner.

Unlike the shared humor that unites, this humor is corrosive and unidirectional, designed to laugh at the victim and not with him or her.

Cynicism and irony give the aggressor a position of intellectual superiority, from which he observes and judges the victim, enjoying the polemic and controversy that his comments provoke.

Attacking weaknesses and beliefs

The effectiveness of this strategy lies in its surgical precision.

The aggressor does not mock random aspects, but directs his darts at the victim's most vulnerable points: his physical complexes, his religious beliefs, his personal tastes, his family or his political opinions.

By ridiculing what is valuable or painful to her, he succeeds in hurting her deeply without the need to raise his voice.

The victim clearly perceives the hostility and the attack on her dignity, but the ambiguous nature of the sarcasm fills her with doubt: Is he really attacking me or am I being overly sensitive? Not being absolutely certain of the intent, she often chooses to remain silent and "swallow" the offense, thus normalizing the disrespect.

Invalidation through the accusation of "lack of humor".

If the victim decides to confront the aggressor and express that his comments hurt him, he will immediately activate a defense mechanism based on invalidation (Gaslighting).

Far from apologizing, he will accuse the victim of lacking a sense of humor, of being "bitter" or of not knowing how to take a joke.

This maneuver turns the situation upside down: the problem is no longer the abuser's verbal aggression, but the victim's supposed rigidity or hypersensitivity.

The aggressor goes so far as to say to her: "If you think I am attacking you, it is because you are the aggressive one", projecting his own violence onto her and ensuring that, in the future, the victim self-censures herself and accepts the teasing so as not to appear "boring" or "conflictive".

Summary

The aggressor hides behind the mask of humor to channel his aggression. He uses corrosive, one-way taunts designed to make fun of the victim, judging her from a position of superiority.

These attacks are precise and target the partner's most vulnerable points. The ambiguity of the sarcasm fills the victim with doubt, who ends up normalizing the disrespect.

If the victim confronts the pain, the aggressor accuses her of lacking a sense of humor. This invalidation (Gaslighting) projects blame onto her, labeling her as stiff or bitter.