Treatment of emotional dependence (withdrawal syndrome)

Neurochemical addiction and the "monkey".

At the end of the relationship, the victim is not simply faced with sadness due to a breakup, but with a clinical picture of pathological emotional dependence.

This dependence works just like a substance addiction: the victim's brain has been conditioned by intermittent reinforcement and demands the "dose" of dopamine that the offender provided in moments of calm. When the link is severed, withdrawal syndrome appears.

The person suffers extreme anxiety, obsessive thoughts, compulsion to know about the other and even real physical pain.

It is essential to understand that this compelling desire to return is not love, but a neurochemical reaction of an addicted brain seeking immediate relief from discomfort.

Treatment focuses on developing "discomfort tolerance," teaching the patient to surf this wave of anxiety without contacting the offender.

The Zero Contact Strategy

The most effective and necessary tool for detoxification is "Zero Contact".

This involves the total and absolute blocking of all avenues of communication: telephone, social networks, emails and third parties acting as messengers.

It should not be interpreted as a strategy to punish the aggressor or to make yourself interesting in the hope that he will change, but as a sanitary measure of protection.

Just as an alcoholic cannot keep a bottle at home while recovering, the victim of psychological violence cannot allow herself the slightest stimulus related to her abuser, as any interaction will reactivate the traumatic bond and restart the recovery counter.

Resistance to "Hoovering".

During this phase, the aggressor will attempt to regain control by Hoovering techniques (attempting to "hoover" the victim back).

If direct contact is blocked, he will use social networks to launch provocative or victimizing messages, knowing that the victim will probably look at them from anonymity.

He may show himself publicly devastated, blame the victim for his ruin or, alternatively, pretend that he has miraculously changed.

It is crucial that the victim stands firm and does not give in to these manipulations. Any response, even negative, is "fuel" for the aggressor.

Returning at this point guarantees entering a destructive loo