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Fear of Hurting Others

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Transcription Fear of Hurting Others


Fear of offending or hurting others is a common barrier to assertiveness, often arising from having to say "no" or set boundaries.

Most people, out of a desire to please, are more concerned about not hurting the relationship than standing up for their own rights and needs, leading to passivity and resentment.

Consequences of passivity

When a person is not able to say "no," they put themselves in a position of vulnerability, allowing others to take advantage of their goodwill.

This passivity generates resentment and a sense of not having control over one's life.

In addition, the lack of consistency in setting boundaries, where one day you say "no" and the next day you give in, confuses the other person, who will continue to ask for favors, making the situation exhausting.

Strategies for setting boundaries

To overcome this fear, it is important to follow a number of strategies.

The first is to recognize that saying "no" will never be a totally pleasant experience, but it is a necessary part of the path to becoming more assertive.

The second is to think about how we want others to see us: as complacent or as confident and strong.

The third is to write a list of your limits, specifying what you are willing to do and what you are not, to be clear about what you are going to say at the moment of truth.

Finally, start with small steps.

The first time you try to say "no" may generate guilt, but it is vital to forgive yourself and keep trying, as over time, consistency will strengthen your boundaries and the other person will learn to respect them.

Summary

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fear of hurting others

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