Trust as the Axis of Relationships

Trust is the fundamental currency in any relationship.

To earn someone's trust, it is crucial that actions align with words.

A trustworthy person is one whose actions do not contradict what he or she says.

Conversely, inconsistency, such as when someone claims to be ambitious but fails to act diligently, destroys credibility.

Over time, inconsistency between what is promised and what is done erodes faith in a person, whether personally or professionally.

Trust as a currency

Trust is the main currency of our relationship, so to speak. Our behaviors are complex in themselves.

For us, trying to read into everything we are doing, we introduce speech to simplify the process of trusting each other.

When you meet someone, do you trust only what they tell you, or do you investigate how they act? Well, in fact, you try to do both.

The way to gain someone's trust is to act in a way that allows you to tell the truth about how you act. What you hide reflects what might make you untrustworthy.

Unless you are a compulsive liar, I will trust you when you tell me how you behave and whether those behaviors align with what you tell me.

Consistency as a pillar of trust

In your social or romantic relationships, you will trust someone when there is no discrepancy between what the person tells you and how they behave.

For example, if someone you met tells you they are ambitious, but all they do is lounge around in front of the TV all day, you will quickly notice that they are not very trustworthy.

If your partner says they're sorry for something they've done that was detrimental to your relationship, but still indulges in the same behaviors, then you should notice that it's not so much the reassuring words, the sorry, what you want to hear that matters over time. It's the way you behave.

Because at the end of the day, we act what we believe and some of us believe that white lies are okay and that we can still do whatever we want regardless of the circumstances, because there is a reward for those behaviors that matters more than the relationship itself, which should eventually lead you to distrust those people.

Inconsistency and its effects

But it's not always that easy because we can idealize the person we are dating, for example.

Well, we love them and expect them to align with who they say they are, but eventually we end up disappointed over time.

And that's one thing that could lead people to break up.

Similarly, in the workplace, you won't be trusted simply because of your credentials or what you say you can do.

It's about whether you are able to deliver what you say you can deliver.

It's about the times when you won't make excuses as to why you didn't manage to prepare that presentation that was due a day earlier.

So being trustworthy takes time because there is another element that comes into play, which is consistency.

If over time you are able to repeatedly behave the way you say you behave, then I will gradually be able to trust you.

So it shouldn't surprise you that you shouldn't be so naive and trust others right away, but rather compare what they say and do over time.

And this process is really the only way to deepen your relationships. Otherwise, it will just be a facade.

Summary

Trust is the fundamental currency in any relationship. To earn it, actions must align with words. Inconsistency between what is said and what is done destroys credibility and faith in a person over time.

Trust is earned with time and consistency. It is a process where actions are compared to words to verify reliability. Without consistency, relationships are a facade and insincerity can hide selfish agendas.

Honesty is the cornerstone of a relationship. Compromising the truth to please others is a form of self-deception that can lead to irreparable betrayal. Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of truth that allows for reasonable expectations.