Hot and Cold Conflicts

Conflicts, although all result from disagreement, manifest in very different ways.

Understanding whether you are dealing with a "hot" or "cold" conflict is critical to applying the correct strategy.

This classification is based on the client's behavior and communication style, and each type requires a different approach.

Hot conflicts are characterized by intense and direct emotional display.

The client is visibly angry and may yell, swear, or use aggressive and direct language.

In this type of conflict, emotions have taken control, and logic has taken a backseat.

The person feels hurt, frustrated, or unfairly treated and expresses this vehemently.

The main objective when dealing with a hot conflict is not to discuss the facts, but to help the person calm their emotions.

This is achieved through empathy, showing that you understand their frustration, and maintaining a calm and firm tone of voice.

The strategy is to guide the customer from emotion to logic, so that a productive conversation can be had to find a solution.

An example would be a customer who calls an airline shouting about their flight being canceled.

The agent should first calm them down, acknowledge their frustration, and only then propose options.

At the other extreme are cold conflicts, which manifest themselves passively and indirectly.

In this case, the customer doesn't shout, but rather withdraws, becomes cynical, breaks off communication, or uses curt, formal responses.

The person is hurt, but instead of expressing their anger, they bottle it up and distance themselves.

It is common in these conflicts for the customer to expect the professional to "chase" them, as a way to test whether the company really cares.

The strategy for handling a cold conflict is to motivate the customer to open up and express their concerns genuine.

Ask open-ended questions and show genuine interest to break through their emotional barrier.

An example might be a client who has stopped using a subscription service and responds to follow-up emails with a simple "I'm not interested," concealing a billing issue that upset them.

Most conflicts can be categorized into these two types, and knowing how to identify them allows the practitioner to choose the appropriate response.

The way you react to a hot conflict is different from that to a cold one, and tailoring your behavior to each situation significantly increases the chances of a successful resolution and of the client feeling understood, no matter how they express their dissatisfaction.

Summary

Understanding whether a conflict is "hot" or "cold" is critical to applying the correct strategy. Hot conflicts manifest themselves with intense and direct emotions, such as yelling or aggressive language.

The goal when dealing with a hot conflict is to help the person calm their emotions. This is achieved with empathy, a calm tone of voice, and directing the conversation from emotion to logic.

Cold conflicts are passive and indirect; the client distances themselves, uses cynicism, or uses short answers. The strategy is to motivate the person to open up by asking questions that break through their emotional barrier.