Dynamics During Assessment: Recognizing Manipulation

Awareness of Interpersonal Dynamics

As a coach, it is helpful to be aware of certain dynamics that can emerge and come into play during the assessment phase and, by extension, affect the overall process of coaching sessions.

The assessment, being a time where strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement are explored, can generate vulnerability in the coachee.

In response to this vulnerability, some clients may resort, consciously or unconsciously, to manipulative techniques as a way to avoid self-discovery or maintain control over the interaction.

Underlying Motivations for Manipulation

These manipulative behaviors do not necessarily arise from malicious intent, but are often defense mechanisms that may substitute a means of acquiring and retaining control when the coachee feels exposed.

They may be motivated by vulnerability and fear of being judged, facing uncomfortable truths or losing the image they wish to project.

A clear example is seen in some high-powered leaders, accustomed to leading, who will try to maintain their dominant leadership role even within the coaching process, resisting taking a more receptive or vulnerable stance.

Often, these individuals operate from a habitual framework of automatic behavior and solutions, making it difficult to access new perspectives.

Coaching Strategies for Controlling Behaviors

The coach must be able to access this defensive "shield" and manage these dynamics in a constructive way.

Some options or characteristics you can adopt when working in this type of situation are:

• Know and Challenge: Identify the control mechanisms that the coachee uses and challenge them through reflection, posing questions that lead them to question their own barriers.
• Differentiate Roles: Be aware and make the client aware that the role he/she plays in his/her workplace (e.g., leader) is fundamentally different from the role expected of him/her in the coaching relationship (explorer, learner).
• Point out Inappropriateness: Any exaggerated sense of independence, combativeness or distrust is inappropriate in the collaborative coaching context and should be respectfully pointed out.
• Present Evidence: When the coachee is unaware of his or her controlling behavior, present palpable evidence (concrete examples from the session) that demonstrates what role he or she is playing.
• Use Reflection: Use reflective questions to invite the coachee to examine his or her own behavior and motivations.
• Build Trust and Relaxation: Actively foster an atmosphere of trust and relaxation. Only if the coachee feels safe and relaxed will he/she b