How to give feedback in difficult situations

Addressing these conversations can be challenging, as they often involve dealing with uncomfortable topics. However, learning to provide effective feedback at difficult times is a skill that can make a difference in team dynamics and individual development.

In what situations is it most difficult for you to provide feedback? Probably when you anticipate it will be an uncomfortable conversation. Even with experience, it is normal to feel some apprehension in these situations, which can lead to procrastination and make communication difficult.

When approaching this topic, we can apply some useful strategies that allow us to deal with the situation without losing objectivity.

One valuable technique is to formulate the feedback message using specific phrases that help to construct the message in an objective, detailed and clear manner. In this technique it is essential to rely on concrete facts and provide clear examples at all times. It is necessary to be specific about what needs to change so that there is no doubt.

Here are some of these statements:

• If/then: This type of construct allows you to describe the repercussions of a person's actions, which is effective in showing the consequences of not addressing the problem. For example: If you do not improve your way of relating and continue to create uncomfortable situations with.... I can't include you in...; or if you don't explain to me what is going on I can't help you.

• This works / this doesn't work: Using these or similar expressions, indicating preference or contrast, allows you to balance feedback, highlighting both the positive and the negative in a situation. This helps to provide a complete picture and point out areas for improvement with clarity. For example: I think it's great how you make the most of your time in the office and multitask. This makes you make rapid progress on several fronts. However, I am concerned that you are missing details and the quality of your work is diminishing. I propose...

• Behavioral impact statements: These statements help the person get a clear picture of the impact his or her behavior has on the organization and other team members. To understand the consequences of their actions and why changes need to be made. They can be offered in a direct way, for example: It is important that you keep your work schedule and above all that you are punctual, in the last month it has worsened and this not only affects your performance but that of the rest of your team that depends on you doing your part on time. Even other members of the group have relaxed their behavior because of this. Or use a more personal perspective if you want to communicate emotions in a constructive way. In this case by putting your feelings in context in relation to the employee's actions. For example: When you went to see my boss yesterday to convey your concerns, I was upset because I didn't know you felt that way. Now he thinks I'm not aware of my team's concerns and I have to....

• Compromise / Reality: This technique is based on prior agreement. If after you have reconciled and agreed to follow a course or action, the person fails to fulfill his or her part of the commitment, he or she is failing to meet an expectation. In this statement you use what was agreed upon against the evidence of what actually happened and the consequences of non-compliance. For example: In our last meeting we agreed that you were going to deliver the report in a week and you have not delivered it yet or informed me of the causes of the delay, now I have to resolve the situation or pull another team member away from their tasks to do it.

• Using first person: Another way is to use "I" instead of "you". Express your observations and feelings by using statements such as: I perceive.... or The way I see it..... This gives space for the other person to express his or her point of view. Also to avoid blaming the other person you can include yourself with constructions such as. When you interrupt me when I am talking I lose the thread of what I was saying.

Here are some other guidelines for giving feedback in difficult situations:

• Pick the right time: find a time when both of you are relaxed and can talk without distractions