Managing Expectations

The Gap Between Expectation and Reality

Much of human suffering stems from the discrepancy between what we expect to happen (our ideal mental script) and what actually happens. This gap is the cradle of frustration and disappointment.

Managing expectations involves being aware of these internal scripts and adjusting them to the probable reality, not the desired fantasy.

Present vs. Desired State

In coaching, we work on the tension between the Present State (where I am) and the Desired State (where I want to be).

If the distance is perceived as insurmountable, it generates anxiety or paralysis. If the present state is ignored (denial), castles in the air are built.

Proper management involves fully accepting the present while working toward the future, turning the gap into a step-by-step action plan.

Goal Setting and Flexibility

Rigid expectations ("I must accomplish this in a month") often lead to abandonment. Flexibility allows you to adjust expectations in the face of new information or obstacles.

It's about changing "I expect everything to go perfectly" to "I expect to do my best and will handle problems as they arise." This reduces pressure and maintains motivation in the long run.

Summary

Much of the suffering arises from the gap between ideal expectations and reality. Managing expectations involves adjusting internal