Effective techniques for conflict resolution

Emotional Control as a Starting Point

The most important skill for resolving conflict is the ability to remain calm and control one's emotions.

Emotional and impulsive reactions, such as anger or frustration, only serve to escalate the tension and make the situation worse.

Therefore, before responding, it is essential to take a moment to take a deep breath and adopt a relaxed attitude, trying not to take the disagreement as a personal attack.

By keeping our composure, we can think more strategically and steer the conversation toward finding a solution, rather than spiraling into a reproachful spiral.

A calm response such as "I understand your frustration, I propose that we take turns talking to find a solution" can defuse a heated discussion.

Active Listening and Empathy: Understanding Before Acting

Once emotions are under control, the next step is to actively listen to truly understand the other person's perspective.

This involves listening carefully, without interrupting, and using positive body language that demonstrates interest.

It is crucial to practice empathy, making a genuine effort to see the situation from the other person's point of view in order to understand their needs and feelings.

Often, the first step in resolving a conflict is simply to create a safe space where the person can express his or her dissatisfaction without being judged.

To confirm that we have understood, it is very helpful to summarize what he or she has said: "So, if I have understood you correctly, you feel you need more support from the team. What do you think might help?".

Constructive Communication: The Power of "I" and Positive Language

The way we express our own point of view is decisive. Instead of using accusatory language, we should express our feelings using "I-messages."

A "You" message such as "You're always late and hurting the team" generates a defensive attitude.

It is much more effective to use a "Me" message, which expresses a need without blaming: "I would feel more at ease if meetings started on time, because when they are late, our work flow suffers." Likewise, it is critical to use positive, collaboration-oriented language.

Instead of a negative phrase such as, "This project will not be completed on time because you are going too slow," a constructive alternative would be, "I propose that we explore together different ways to expedite the work to complete this project on time."

Toward the Solution: Focus on Common Ground and the Future.

Once both parties have expressed themselves and feel understood, the focus must shift from dwelling on the problem to jointly seeking solutions.

To do this, it is very helpful to find common ground, emphasizing the shared objectives that unite the conflicting parties.

For example, when faced with a dispute over a budget, you can remind yourself, "We both want this project to be a success. How can we design a spending plan that benefits both departments?"

This search for common ground creates a collaborative dynamic that facilitates resolution.

Mediation as a Resource for Unblocking Conflict

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