Passive-Aggressive Behavior and Assertiveness

Passive-aggressive behavior is a communication style that is often confused with assertiveness, but is actually one of its antitheses.

This style arises from poor communication and seeks to emotionally control the other person, without the person using it being aware of it.

Unlike aggressive behavior, which is direct and clear in its intention, passive-aggressive behavior is subtle and ambiguous, which makes it particularly frustrating.

Passive-aggressive people do not want to hurt the other person directly, as they try not to express any messages that could be interpreted as negative.

However, they behave negatively by not doing what they promise to do or by doing things ineffectively.

This behavior, although not intentionally malicious, is a way of manipulating the situation to get what they want without having to ask for it directly.

Assertiveness, on the other hand, is the ability to communicate in a clear, specific, and unambiguous, while being sensitive to the needs of others.

A passive-aggressive person often behaves like a "victim" to make the other person feel guilty.

For example, they may say they will do it, but then delay it, and when confronted, they may play the victim and say, "I'll do it, like always."

The antidote to this dynamic is to be assertive and set clear boundaries.

If someone is behaving passive-aggressively, the best strategy is to respond calmly and clearly, and not play along.

Assertiveness allows a person to say what they need, protect their boundaries, and nurture the relationship at the same time.<