Empathy in Action: Connecting Genuinely with Others

Empathy as a favorable will, not just a feeling.

Empathy is commonly defined as the ability to "put oneself in another's shoes," but this view is incomplete.

More than just a feeling, empathy in communication is an active stance: it is a "favorable will", a "willingness" or a conscious "openness" to establish contact with our interlocutor.

It is not a matter of passively feeling what the other feels, but of making a proactive decision to try to understand his or her emotions and point of view, with the intention of fostering an assertive response and a real connection.

It is therefore a choice and a skill that is cultivated, not an emotion that just happens.

Practical steps: listening without judgment, validating emotions.

Putting this "favorable will" into practice requires concrete actions.

When we practice empathy, we adopt specific behaviors that create a safe space for dialogue.

The key steps are:

Listen more attentively: offer our full presence, eliminating distractions and focusing our focus on the speaker.

Avoiding snap judgments: Suspending our own opinions and biases so that we can understand the other person's perspective from their own frame of reference, not ours.

Validate emotions: Acknowledge and accept the other person's feelings as legitimate, even if we do not share them or would not react in the same way.

Phrases such as "I understand how you feel" can have a profoundly positive impact.

The key difference between empathy and sympathy

It is crucial not to confuse empathy with sympathy or compassion. Sympathy involves feeling for someone; it often involves feelings of pity ("poor you") and creates a distance between the observer and the sufferer.

Empathy, on the other hand, is an effort to feel with someone, seeking to establish an authentic connection based on mutual understanding.

Sympathy can be passive and distant, while empathy is active and seeks a rapprochement.

Sympathy says "I am sorry for your pain," while empathy says "I understand your pain and I am here with you."

How Empathy Builds Bridges and Reduces Conflict

The conscious practice of empathy has a transformative effect on our interactions.

By validating the feelings of others and creating a safe environment, it dramatically improves the quality of our relationships.

It acts as the most effective tool for reducing and preventing conflict, as a large portion of disputes arise from the feeling of not being heard or understood.

Empathy builds bridges of understanding where the lack of it builds walls of resentment and